Update--got the ruling!!!
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| Tue, 03-13-2007 - 8:47pm |
My attorney called me at 8:30 last night. He said that he had gotten this ruling from the judge that I might be interested in. He had called my cell phone so I called him back on a lan line so I could understand him better. This is what it said:
1) Lauren stays with me.(main concern). I'd give up everything to keep her.
2) For now the visitation stays as it is. I still have to drive the long hours (12 every other weekend) to take her back and forth to see her dad. In the future, if Lauren wants to, I will try to change that. It will be Lauren's decision brought on by a more involved life down here:friends, school functions, etc.
3)Meeting time is changed (at my request) from 6:00 to 6:30.
4) Child support is raised to from $262 to $682, retroactive to Dec.1. This means that he is currently behind $1680. His attorney is going to be pushing for him to cut me a few checks instead of waiting for the state to "do its thing."
5) Chris carries insurance on Lauren.
Basically everything else remains the same. My atty has a couple of papers to sign that he has to send to the judge. After the judge signs it, I will be have a copy of the new agreement.
The judge apparently was not too happy with the fact that although he makes $87,000/year and had agreed to pay me an increased amount for support beginning Dec. 1, he had not done so. He had also failed to pay the agreed $75 (for gas) until I began receiving the increased amount. He also wasn't too happy that we had sent a reasonable offer for settlement over to the other atty and my x turned it down thus dragging us into trial.
All three attys (mine, his and the gal) agreed that the ow/sm was one of the main catalyst in this whole situation. They agree that she made it a lot worse than it would've been. I've therefore been advised to continue to have nothing to do with her. My x and I need to handle everything on our own--without her direct input.
Right now, I'm just counting the days until their marriage implodes. I do not want to see any of the kids involved go through this mess again (or for the first time). However, I do believe that justice will be served eventually. Boy will it be nice seeing my x being raked over the coals by the world's first class wicked witch of the west.
I am not so naive as to believe that all of my problems with them are over. I've learned my lesson in that corner. I'm just glad that I only have a little over 9 years of this to deal with. Ahh, yes. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. :D
Becka
ps. Btw, Lauren was ecstatic. I am trying to keep it all upbeat and do everything I can to portray her dad in a positive manner. I asked her if she remembered that her dad and I were going to court. She said yes. I told her that the judge had made his decision. She asked me what it was. I told her that the judge said she got to live with me, but she would still get to see her dad every two weeks like she was now. Child support was also increased so money would not be so tight for us anymore. She started jumping up and down, wrapped her arms around my neck for a huge bear-hug and gave me a realllly big kiss on the cheek.
She asked how much the cs was going to be, but I told her it was not her concern.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
overwhelmed76...
PG congratulations you on your daughter's primary residence with you...not to mention the additional child support money.
BUT PLEASE...
Don't waste your time gloating over your former husband's g/f and whether their union will dissolve!! Doing this doesn't make you look good in the eye's of your child. And it also puts your daughter in a potentially stressful situation when it comes to her "visits with her Dad!"
Embrace the fact that the court ruled in your favor and that YOU HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER!
Pianoguy
I am so glad you survived this gruelling process and that you apparently had a really good attorney.
Phew!
I wish my state were as generous with cs. The guidelines give less than that to each of my children and my stbx makes more than yours and I make less than you (I am a sahm). So, way to go!
I am sorry they didn't require him to do the driving on every other of "his" weekends--seems like that would be only fair. Maybe that will come.
Hugs to you and you dd.
M
Thank you.
As for my feelings about her dad's marriage. Lauren has no idea of my true feelings about it. I make it a point NOT to discuss it around her (I make sure she is out of the room.) I sincerely hope she does not have to go through it again, but for my side of it, it will be bittersweet.
She has known for a while that I get child support to help with some of the expenses,etc. She does not, nor will she ever be let in the loop about how much, etc.
I do want her to have a great relationship with her dad. I'm sorry the stepmom comes along with it, but I have learned to deal with it. Lauren cares for them both very much. When she mentioned to me that they were fighting, I gave her a hug and told her that I was sorry to hear that. I told her that when people live together they sometimes argue. People sometimes disagree, even when they love each other very much.
I have the firm belief that what happens at his house stays at his house. When we exchange, I ask her if she had a good weekend. If she wants to elaborate, I listen. If not, I do not ask anymore questions. As long as she is not in any danger, it is not my business what goes on there.