Update on spring break

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
Update on spring break
1
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 11:26am

I talked with my lawyer and it turns out that him living with the "woman" is a valid reason for the kids not to go out of state. Here is the reason, in our papers it has a clause that no adult slumber parties of the opposite sex. Also, her history is a valid reason too. Her kids were removed from her. (abuse I think) Since I am the CP I have the right and duty to limit my kids on who they see if I think there is a cause.
As for the stbx, he only has visitation. His choice.
I have spoke with the boys' therapist and right now he feels that overnight visits are not in the best interest. (refusal to give meds at x-mas and giving alcohol mixed with pop)

And for my daughter, I should explain what happen between her and her father.
A little over a year ago, he and her got in a fight about her lack of respect and for saying bu!!sh*@. She had just heard about the OW and that stbx was moving into OW's apt. Anyway, she really was vocal about it. She has no problem with letting people know what is on her mind. So being H, she let him know she wasn't happy. So stbx, go mad too. (they both are hot-headed) H went to her room locked the door, stbx kicked the door open. Tried to get a hold of her to “teach her respect" his quote. She ran out, he caught her in the kitchen put her in a sleep hold. I stepped in got her out, grabbed the boys' put them in the car. went back in house to get my keys. We left went to the police station only (two miles away) the police when to my house, of course he was gone. Since that day H will not be the same room as stbx. She won't talk to him either. I will say that stbx has tried to make amends with her. He does admit that he was way out of line.
Since then all of us are in therapy.

I also learned that my DD (14) is at the age of consent, meaning she can decide if and who she wants to see and live with as long as it is a safe stable enviolement in almost all cases. Most of the time, the courts try to keep all the kids in the same home. And since stbx moved out of the state, it would be too disruptive for the kids' to move change schools. And stbx only has a one bedroom apt.

So we do have a court date for next week. I have her therapist and the boys' therapist all are writing statements about the things that the kids' say in session. And what their recommdation are. School's consulters too. My lawyer is feeling very confident that overnights visits are not going to advisable. He says he feels unsupervised visits are out too but it is all up to a judge. He thinks the judge will appoint a GAL for the kids.
And the GAL gets a say in what happens.

I guess I'll just turn this over to the powers that be and hope for the best outcome for the kids. And just knowing that I'm doing the best I can.

abi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 1:23pm

Oh.... I forgot that you said she lost her kids.... his living with her (especially if it's "her" place), given that past, could very well keep his kids far, far away... and good that you've got some documentation of the incident with him and your daughter, too.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~