Urgent advice needed
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| Wed, 04-18-2007 - 10:50am |
For those of you who have been following the saga of my car, it's not over yet.
In our separation agreement, I am supposed to give X my car after I purchase a new one. Because I am paying the mortgage now, and have huge credit card bills (due to getting the house fixed up to go on the market), I have always maintained to X that I can't feasibly get another car until the house is sold. We have an offer on the house now, and the buyers want the house... they're willing to make some fixes prior to our closing date of May 30th. They WANT this house!!
Anyway, at the beginnig of this month, X showed up to my house with 2 cop cars, demanding the car back. It IS in his name, however, *I* have beeing paying all bills for the car for a year, but our agreement didn't say he could repo the car abitrarily (sp?).
The following day, X showed up at the house with 2 more cop cars, and removed the license plates.
About 1 week later, I obtained a rental car. It's costing about $60 per day. My lawyer has initiated contempt charges against X, for breaching our agreement; we are asking for the cost of the rental, the amount that I have put into the car over the past year ($1,700), and court costs. We go to court on the 24th of April.
Yesterday, I asked X to sign the purchase and sale for the house, enabling the process to continue on the sale of the house. X refused, saying he would get the "State police involved, since the local guys don't do anything. The staties don't screw around. Oh, and I'll take my name of the mortgage, so you'll be screwed with that too."
Keep in mind, the car in question is a 1998 SUV. It has 113,000 miles on it, and will not pass inspection this month unless new tires are purchased, and the exhaust is replaced. To me, it's a liability, and I was just trying to nurse it along until such time as I could get another one. To X, it's the Holy Grail. I'd rather not have to pay to fix this thing-- my credit cards are maxed, and I just can't pay for it to be repaired.
My 20 y/o DS said I can borrow his car whenever I need it. He has a 2nd car, so it won't be a problem (unless it rains-- his 2nd car is a hotrod, which is allergic to water ;-) ).
I hardly slept a wink last night. I'm not worried about the staties... this is a civil matter, and they don't want to get involved with that. But what I am considering is just letting X have the car-- with these provisions: a. He pays for the rental. I have it leased until the 25th, which will end up costing almost $1,000. The sooner I turn it in, the less it will cost. b. X reimburses me for what I've paid into the SUV (since he claims it is his)-- repairs, paying for HIS insurance, excise tax, and registration; c. X pays attorney fees/court costs.
This would keep him out of court, would possibly save him the embarrassment of being ubpraided by the judge, and keep a contempt charge off of him. Personally, I could care less about that. I'm NOT trying to cover for him. I just don't want to lose the sale of the house over a crummy 10 year old car. The old pick and choose your battles thing, and whatnot.
I called the realtor-- she's aware of the situation (she has her own X, who did a similar thing with her car), but she needs to have this paper signed, or she'll have to disclose to the buyers that X won't sign. I called my attorney, and she said ultimately, the decision is mine...
Anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance.
Edited 4/18/2007 10:56 am ET by susieyippin

ahhh! darn these exholes!! CONTROL ISSUES, i tell ya. and i thought the tainted pet food was code red ... uh, could we possibly recall these crazy EXs cause we are sick, literally *sick* of being exposed to their toxic nature!!
Susie, i suggest you fight fire with *confusion* ... yes, agree to give your ex his precious vehicle so he can sign the papers to continue the sale of your home.
in the interim, proceed with the contempt charges against him because believe me, once the judge finds out that he *bullied* you to return his car BEFORE the sale of the home, spout that very itemized list of charges and fees he owes you as a result, including the car rental and insurance reimbursement, he won't know what to do (that's where the confusion tactic comes in -- hee hee). as you sit in court, with your *diva smirk*, you may wanna borrow my Dominique Devereaux faux floor-length fur & matching sunglasses :)
and yes, let HIM take care of all the repairs for the truck & get new tires and let the karma van, well in his case, the karma truck roll right over him (mentally of course, not physically) -- talk about a "Goodyear" for you (smiling).
hang in there, as you can see, as long as he's driven by anger and bittnerness, he will continue to struggle to find happiness.
congrads on the sale of the home, and blessings to your DS for helping you out on the transportation; our bunchkins truly get us through these challenging times, don't they ...
{{{{hugs}}}}
My mom went through this with her ex-husband. She let him take the car and he ended up in the long run having both his cars reposessed. I think karma took over on that one. It sounds like your ex is controlling and loves having this power.
If I were you I would give him his car and do whatever you have to in order to get yourself a new one. The best revenge is success. It will bother him way more for you to be independent and not needing him or anything of his.
Good luck to you on this situation, I keep saying, someday we will look back and laugh at all of this. Let's hope that is the case.
Jen
I likes how you think, write-girlie! LOL Too bad it wasn't Molson Ice that was making animals sick. If that was the case, my X-beast would be projectile vomiting all over the place. But that's not nice, is it? ;-)
I'll even clean the car up nice for him... he went around the car with his skank GF's camera phone, snapping pics "so I get it back in one piece!!" :eyesrolling:
The house and the car are the last two things that he has any connection with me... except for the kids, of course. Well, soon it'll be JUST the kids. I'm counting down the days.