verbal agreements

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
verbal agreements
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 9:37am

My husband and I are going through a divorce right now.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 11:20am


Verbal agreements are worth nothing.

I'd advise you to seek your attorney's input on your arrangement with your husband. There's no law that says you can't return part of the child support money or change visitation but you shouldn't plan on a judge believing this two years down the road even if you pay with checks and document the visits. In other words, don't leave yourself open to not being able to prove what has happened.

Also, two years is a long time off. A lot can happen in two years. What if you both remarry? What if he loses his job? What if one of you wants to move out of state? Etc. etc. Wait and see what's going on in two years. Don't tie yourself into something now that you want to change then.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 12:39pm

I think that if you convinced your DH to sign an agreement by telling him that you are going to do something that you aren't really going to do, that is morally wrong and you should really be ashamed of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2011
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 10:55am

If you both write down the verbal agreement, sign it in front of a notary, then it can be used agaisnt you. If you haven't it's your word against his. I know it seems wrong to agree to something for your own benefit, only to change your mind later, but we all don't know your story. If you are doing what you have to for the sake of your kids, and your ability to care for them then do whatever you need to. I only wish I had done like you. I was too nice early on, and my divorce has been dragged out over a year now, and I have no help from him at all. (if you've seen my posts you'll know more) Be strong, don't look back. Don't second guess yourself. Just accept whatever decisons you make and move past them. Divorce is tough on everyone, and we all wish we could change things or do things different, but looking back like that isn't good.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 2:57pm
I am biting my tongue here, trying to give you the benefit of the doubt because what you are describing is fraudulant. Maybe not legally, but personally. So I will try and stick to the facts here.

OK, so although I don't think lying to your stbx will put you in jail, it will not put you in a good light if xH gets smart and amends the CS and custody after you don't follow through with what you verbally agreed upon.

The D being final doesn't keep either party from trying to change the custody or CS. So I am a little unclear why you would go about it this way.

The only reason I could see participating in such a blantant act is if your life or safety was in jeapordy and this is the only way he would sign the D papers. Even then there is nothing keeping him from dragging this back to court.

So, forget about the agreement in 2 years, what are you going to do next month when he wants the kids and his $300? I think that is where the concern lies first. Then you can worry about what to tell the judge when xH takes this back to court.

I am not trying to be mean, just trying to understand why, unless in fear for their life, would go about it this way.

If things ARE that bad, then I appolgize for my stern tone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 3:48pm

Thank you for your support.