Very new to all this...
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| Wed, 05-18-2005 - 12:04pm |
Hello ladies,
I am very new to all this and definitely in need of support. OK, here it starts...
I'm 28, have been married for 6 years now, have a 3y.o. It' my first marriage, my husband's however, second. There was no cheating (from either side), both have been perfectly faithful. I just realized that it isn't going to work out - can't live with an ex-marine (no offense) - just too much of a control-freak and have two totally different views on how to raise kids plus all sorts of other issues. Anyway, I'm just tired of being mentally abused (God, once in a while I so wish he hit me once, so that my further actions would be perfectly legitimized!) and absolutely not respected. Seems that he just killed everything that was inside of me a while ago and there is no turning back at this point. I can't even have sex with him - just cannot tolerate his hands on me... Anyway, it's bad.
I know it's not going to last and there is no way I could save this marriage (not even sure, I want that). In all 6 years we've been married I didn' work (just did some p/t and freelancing at home). At this moment I am taking care of my girl "doing nothing" (according to my husband). I am not a horrible person and I don't want to screw up his life - just need him to let me go and make hure he still supports our son. He just sold the house we'd been living in for the last 5 years (I am not a bread-winner in the family, so I am not entitled to make financial decisions in the household!), so we're renting. I guess, I can't count on anything there...
He is absolutely no help when it comes to our daughter (leaves at 6am, comes back home at 10pm). On weekends he's too tired from his working week, so we just have to leave him alone... He also hs children form his first marriage.
Anyway, I don't have any hesitations (definitely am going to file as soon as possible) - just a bunch of questions and a total lack of support from anyone... My Mom is overseas (I'm originally from there) and all my girl-friends think I am suicidal - no way a single mom will survive in this county...
HOW DO YOU GUYS DEAL WITH THIS??? I don't have any feelings left for this man, so that's not my concern. What I am thinking about - I am totally alone here. I am not a nasty person and I really hope HE will appreciate that and not give me hard time. However, if he does - am I supposed to start going to psychiatrist, get hooked on antidepressants and drown myslef in vodka every night? Oh, just a little support from you ladies would be so appreciated...
Edited 5/18/2005 12:06 pm ET ET by justsmone14
Edited 5/18/2005 12:34 pm ET ET by justsmone14

Hi
Well, it sounds like you know what you want to do, so thats a start. You just need to go ahead and do it. It took me awhile to make that move as well. If it anything like how I felt once I got away, you will feel amazing- like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Yeah, it will be tough at times, but you will make it. And just think- you will be free to do what you want, when you want. It is great!! My ex is still haunting me, but even then its so much better cause I am not living with him anymore, and he doesn't know where I live now so I never have to worry about him just showing up on my doorstep. Plus I have met someone new who treats me like gold. Its still hard but its getting easier. It was really hard on me when I first left him, I remember wishing that I could close my eyes and wake up 6 months later. Well, I only left him 3 and a half months ago and already things are better. He's not doing well though and I still worry, but for me, I am doing better, finally.
Good luck, and email me anytime if you want to talk
Jess