Very weird situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Very weird situation
8
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 3:52pm

My ex husband is now dating my fiance's ex wife! Apparently they are getting pretty serious and are discussing marriage. On one hand I think they both deserve each other (both cheaters) - but on the other hand I'm having "issues". Not only do I have to deal with "her" as my fiance's ex wife (constantly calling him to "chat" - they do not have children together so they have no need to talk) - now I have to deal with her as a possible stepmother to my 2 boys and as my exhusband's new wife.

Has anyone had this situation before?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Fri, 11-10-2006 - 6:24pm

Wow! Must be weird.

My sweetie and I joke sometimes that we should have "called in the managers and made a trade" years ago. While his XW and my XH deserve each other, they're both very selfish and want someone else to take care of them. It wouldn't have worked since he wanted a mother and she wanted a father. And that's what they both got! (both SO's are 10-15 years older!)

You never know, though. That situation might work out great. If their relationship works, you already know each other and it's got to be easier to co-parent with that kind of history!

Good luck!

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 8:25am

Babette,


The most important "red flad" I see from your post is the fact your fiance is still talking to his Ex. That has to stop. Today! His willingness to talk to her indicates (to me) that's he not "done" with the relationship. He needs to stop maintaining an emotional connection with his Ex. It's not fair to you and it means he's not totally over the relationship. Tell him he needs to decide who he's "involved" with. Don't marry him unless he's able to make the complete break. That's especially important now since she's dating your Ex.


Good luck.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 12:52pm

That is weird.... especially since your husband is still communicating (I assume frequently) with his EX.


That whole deal just..... smells bad.... but Good Luck!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 6:41pm

Sans the emotions involved, who the ex's marry is of no consequence to either of you really regardless of who they were previously married to.

Peace,

Di

***If you cannot define yourself, your circumstances will.***

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 11:54am
I think I need to explain things better. My DF does not call his EX - nor does he talk to her on a regular basis. BUT.....she calls him to tell him trivial stuff about her family or about a concert. He usually doesn't answer the call so she leaves him voice mail messages. She usually times the calls when she knows we're together. Also, when all of us are together at one of my children's sporting events she will strike up a conversation with him that doesn't include me or anyone else. She's the one who is still holding on. When I discussed this with my ex (her current boyfriend) he just says that she's just trying to be nice and wants us all to be friends. NO THANKS!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 12:32pm

Yuck and Ew!

This sounds like a very bad tv movie mello-drama.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 11:48am
It's official - My Ex and my DF's Ex are now engaged. Probably getting married in the next few months. This is just too weird - everyone is talking about "wife-swap" and snickering. I'm trying not to let it affect my relationship but sometimes it's really hard. My DF communicates very little with his EX - even though she continues to call him regularly - he just doesn't return the calls - I have 2 children w/ my Ex so I'm in constant communication with him. My Ex sees nothing weird about the situation and wants us all to be ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY. AAGGGHHHHH!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-12-2007 - 2:23pm

Yes... that is weird.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~