Virtual Visitation

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Virtual Visitation
15
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 1:04pm

My stbx keeps mentioning this "vitual visitation" idea to me. He says that he read about it on the CNN website. He seems to think it's a great idea and that he needs to do it. I think that it will be nice for my DD (2) to hear his voice and see his face when he can't be with her. However, I roll my eyes because in my opinion this in no way shape or form replaces traditional inperson visitation. At two years old my daughter needs a male (her Daddy) in her life. And seeing him on a webcam and on "occassional" weekends doesn't cut it and I don't plan on letting him for one second think he's father of the year, even on his best days.

I intend to look in to this idea even if stbx does not because it is in my daughters best interest. I hope that he really does come around and do the best he can even though he'll be hours away, for my daughters sake. All I ask is for him and his family to be there for her when she wants them there! And I mean that within reason of course.

I can't help but feel like my DD is going to have more healthy interaction with her father once we live 8 hours away than she does on a daily basis now. It's a lot easier to put on a fake smile for 20 minutes on a webcam than it is when you have to deal with a spoiled rotten (my spoiled rotten :)) little girl day in and day out when you're like my stbx and don't know how to handle stress and you don't really want to accept responsibilities.

Please share your thoughts on this and your experiences as well.

<a href="http://www.GlitterMaker.com/"><img src="http://www.GlitterMaker.com/created/29175279.gif" width="368" height="127" border="0"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 1:42pm

I read the article.... here it is (or a copy.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:01pm
Thanks for the link! Does anyone here do this virtual visitation? I'm still trying to figure out the best way to hook this up for my stbx and our daughter. Thanks.
<a href="http://www.GlitterMaker.com/"><img src="http://www.GlitterMaker.com/created/29175279.gif" width="368" height="127" border="0"
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:08pm

Here's a little more information about it...


The ''Virtual Visitation'' Portal - InternetVisitation.org

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 6:20am

i have never heard about this but i don't like the idea AT ALL. its one thing if people use web cams and phone calls as a SUPPLEMENTAL device. but i have a feeling that in the case of 'parents who can't be bothered' - it will just turn into an 'instead of'.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 10:55am

SK,

I see your point that some parents might try and used virtual visits to replace real ones, however, I think this could also be used to keep families close togther.

My ex and I get along well but sometimes, even though we try to be understanding of each others feelings, there is nothing we can do. For instance, this past year I had the girls on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Logistically there was just no way to avoid that because the girls and I were visiting my parents in south Georgia which is 8 hours away from where I live. It would have been great for the girls to be able to "see" their mom on Christmas even if "seeing" her was only through a computer.

Anyway, that's my two cents worth.

Michael

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 11:41am

well michael, of course its a great idea - but like i said, it shouldn't be used as an 'instead of'. look i live in israel, and there are alot of people who live here who have moved from other countries and they left family and friends behind - and its nice to have the option of some kind of online participation in celebrations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 12:05pm

SK,

I certainly agree with you that a computer can not take the place of a parent being there in person.

You said in your post that you live in Israel. I find that interesting. A couple of my friends in college had spent time there as kids in the early 80s and loved it and, last summer, I met a couple of Isrealies when I visited my sister who lives in Brussels. They worked at the EU and were a bit snobby so I didn't get much insite from them on what life is like there.

Anyway, I am a political junkie who find Israel to be a facsinating country. I have never been and would love to know more about it. Are you an American who moved to Israel or an Israeli who found ivillage on the net? (I assume ivillage is mostly American) Are you in Tel Aviv, Jerusalem, or in a more rural area? Did the recent elections turn out as you hoped? Just curious and would love to hear anything you would like to share.

Take care,
Michael

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 5:52am

hey michael! i was born in the US and moved here as a kid. israelis can be very nice but they can be snotty or closed ---- kind of 'you are not one of us so leave us alone' - even to someone who grew up here. its different than living in the states - there is a war going on here in between our 'normal' lives - people go to work and school and malls, but you get on a bus and wonder if it might blow up, if that young man with the big duffle bag is toting a bomb.


i live in jerusalem. the recent elections - ----- were weird. i can't say if its what i hoped or not - i don't have much hope left. politicians are all corrupt in this country, and nobody follows thru on their promises, everything here is corrupt. hope i cheered you up ha ha ha ....


there are some good things here - other than terrorist attacks and the maniacs driving on the roads, this is a relatively safe country, easy going, etc.


where do you live?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 6:48am

SK,

I can only imagine what it must be like to constantly have to worry about the young guy on the bus with the duffle bag. I remember my college friends saying that the adults in Israel seemed a lot more concerned about safety than our parents at home. Of course, they went to Israel as teenagers and didn't know enough to be worried. I am a history buff and really admire your country and those who founded it. I must say that, from what I have read, demographic trends don't look good for you guys. Of course, that is the case for lots of western nations (Italy, Japan, France, etc...)

I live in Knoxville, TN but travel a good deal around North America. I produce television documentaries for a company here in town. Mostly we do true crime stuff (a show called "City Confidential" for A&E and "Snapped" for Oxygen) every now and then I get to work on a History Channel or National Geographic project.

Knoxville is home to the University of Tennessee so there is a bit of a progressive community here. My xw and I moved here 12 years ago to go to grad school. The city is okay. I have often thought that our civic moto should be, "Knoxville:Not as Bad as You'd Think."

You didn't say how you found ivillage. Is it more of an international site than I thought or did you learn about it though some connection in that states. Also, why did you move to Israel as a kid? Inquiring minds want to know.

Be good.

Michael

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 04-01-2006 - 9:26am
I agree. It's great if it is "in addition to" but I'd be afraid of it becoming "instead of."

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