Visitation
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Visitation
| Wed, 02-07-2007 - 1:48pm |
So we began a manditory 6 hour coparenting class together last night. Not one single word sunk into STBX. He says the class is a waste of time. I think we should have a parenting plan in place so that the children have structure and know when they will go to their fathers house as explained in the 3 hour class last night. Originally, I had told him he could see the kids whenever he wanted as long as it worked with the kids schedule. He is now saying he doesn't want to force the kids to see him and when I need him to "watch" the kids he will do what he can. He is their father not a babysitter. We are going to have joint custody with the children residing with me. He is just clueless, self centered, and selfish. He apparently wasn't listening in class to the part of the person without the children need that time to recharge their batteries. Apparently, I'm like the energizer bunny and I don't need to recharge. Only when I have to absolutely need to do something without the kids, can I call him. I know if I put in a court order stating he has visitation every other weekend, he will throw a fit. At this point, I shouldn't care about his feelings, only the needs of the kids to have a parenting plan with set visitation as suggested in our meeting. Sounds logical to me-why is it so foreign to him? I guess I need to have set visitation included in our court order. I wish he could just be a parent. Unfortunately, he really never was around so this will be a change of lifestyle for him. Who cares-I now am going to focus on the kids and myself. Thanks for listening.

I think it is great your system actually has classes for folks to take. Too bad he wasn't listening.
My stbx pulled the same "babysitting" line on me and even when corrected continues to say "I want to help her (me) out" by taking care of the kids. You aren't helping me -- it is YOUR stinking job; you are their DAD!!!!
So I can relate.
Otoh, you might want to think about how much time you want the kids to spend with him if he hasn't proved himself to be a responsible dad. What will be going on when they are with him? If he resents having them will he treat them poorly or neglect them?
I know it is ideal to have the kids have as much time as possible with the non-residential parent, but I guess one has to balance that with the quality of the person's parenting.
GL with a tough decision.
M
He needs to understand that parenting is his right.... not an obligation.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
i am 2years into getting a divorce. I HAVE THREE WONDERFUL LITTLE GIRLS. ALL HE WANTS IS THE HOUSE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND. HE IS FILING FOR CUSTODY OF THE GIRLS. I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO REGARDING DIVORCE. I HAVE THE CHILDREN WED, THURS, FRI AND SAT ALTERNATING ON SUNDAY.
BARBARA