Visitation Dilemma
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| Sun, 01-15-2006 - 11:48am |
Hi everyone,
This is the first time I've posted here. I was divorced last year (final in July), and I have a seven year old son. My ex-husband moved to Arizona (we live in MA), and he's already re-married. Last year he visited our son three times from March-December. We have an open agreement about visitation as long as we both agree. He wants my son to visit him in AZ this April. I refuse to let my son fly alone (he's only 7), so he agreed to come and get him. Now the dilemma is how is my son going to get home. My ex-husband just assumed I would pick him up and he went ahead and reserved a plane ticket for me. Of course I refused. First of all he shouldn't have assumed I would do it, and secondly it's a round trip across the country, not down the street! Of course now he's laying the guilt trip on me (as he often did), like it's my fault my son won't be able to go. He's the one that chose to move so far away, so I don't feel it's my responsibility to figure out how he's going to see his son. Oh, and he doesn't pay any child support (that's another story). I have no objection to him seeing his son (my son misses him and can't understand why he had to move away), but he needs to deal with his decision, not me. If it were up to him, he'd have my son fly alone, which I feel is ridiculous at this age. Am I being unreasonable in all of this? I'm the one that takes care of our son on a daily basis, so I don't feel it's my responsibility to deal with any of this. Thanks for any advice!
Jo

How is visitation, including drop offs and pick ups worded in your settlement agreement? That will be the ultimate decider. In my agreement, it specifically states that xh has to pick our son up on his visitation days and drop him off...
Is it possible for you to go pick up your son? Or are you unable to fly across the country? I understand that it is as inconvienent as it comes... Would you be willing to meet halfway? How would you like your son to get home?
Unfortunately, payment or non payment of child support does not have anything to do with visitation... my xh also lives out of state (by his choice) and only saw our son once last year... he is also more than $10K in arrears as far as child support goes, but if he came to our state, I would be more than happy to let him see our son... but that's how the agreement is written... and hopefully your agreement went into some detail regarding such, even though it is a more flexible visitation plan.
Julie
Hello and Welcome!
Your EX shouldn't have assumed anything..... however, it was nice that he purchased you the plane ticket to accompany your child back home.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~