Visitation nightmare!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Visitation nightmare!
4
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 11:14am

I am so mad at STBX! I have temp sole custody and the visitation agreements are up to us at this point. He has been taking dd on Wed. for 2 hours- big deal!! I called STBX and told him that our dd was starting a gymnastics class on Wed. so we would have to rearrange the schedule. He said fine-I will come on Tues. at 4:30. At 2:00 he called to cancel-he was pulled away for work. OK- I will go with the flow. After her class on Wed. I called him when we were on our way home to tell him about it. No problems. He was going to see her on Thurs. @ 6:00 b/c he had a golf outing. I called him yesterday to confirm that he was still coming to get her. So I tell him-ok I just want to confirm the time you are picking her up-he puts a co-worker on the phone - now I am getting angry. I just want the times. Then he starts saying how I have been so snippy to him on the phone. I let him know that the only thing we need to discuss is our dd. Nothing else. He confirms the times and I hang up. He calls back and says we need to talk about my attitude. I once again let him know that I do not have to explain anything to him-unless it pertains to dd and that is only because I want to, not bc I have to. He starts saying what a horrible person I am on and on. I told him, if I am so horrible how come I brought dd to the wake for your mother a few weeks ago and stayed for 1 1/2 hours and acted like nothing happened? Why would I call you and let you know about her class and how she loved it and did great? Then I hung up on him. He called back again-I didn't answer and left a message saying if I don't call him back he is not coming to get her. I cooled down for about half an hour and called him back. I told him that he is not hurting me by not coming to see her- just his dd. He said I will see you at 6. 6:05 my phone beeps(nextel) he is running really late how is 7:00? I told him that she gets a bath at 7:30 everynight. So he cancels and says I will call you later. He called back a few minutes later - I didn't answer. He has not even mentioned Sunday. I figured he would want to spend the day with her since it is Father's day. At this rate who knows what he is going to do. How do you just blow off your daughter two times in one week? I can not stand the way he puts everything else in front of her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 1:53pm

I hear ya... sometimes it does seem like their priorities are a bit off... sometimes within their control... sometimes not... but when things like golf get in the way, it can really rile you up.


Vent away!.... hope he can spend some time with her Sunday.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 2:22pm

It sucks, man o man does it suck.


Golf.... ugh, atleast my ex used to lie about it and say he "had to work" ( second job as a bouncer, I caught on and started checking show schedules and he wasn't "working"...) I can only imagine how it feels to hear that golf is more important.


I am so sorry.. hugs to you and DD.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 2:37pm
It just proves to me time after time that this divorce is the best thing for dd and myself! She is going to have a wonderful weekend without him! We have a baseball game and a festival today and a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese tomorrow. Her first! It just kills me that he would not want to be a part of these "firsts" for her. I would rather die than not see her do these things. I love seeing her face light up with a smile or curiosity at new things. I thought long and hard about everything that was happening between us. I really sat back and put pride aside and thought about it. I don't miss him at all. I miss what I wanted my marriage to be- but not him. I could care less if I ever saw or talked to him again. I just had such high hopes of happily ever after-that is what hurts. I take blame myself- maybe I wanted something he was not able to give. I will take that-but he was part of making his daughter-we tried for over a year to get pg! So he has no excuse for not seeing her or being part of her life. He will never get these memories back-he missed out. Shame on him!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 2:45pm

Exactly, Shame on him. I agree with you. I am happy I get to experience all the firsts, our daughter just started walking, he missed it, our daughters first words, our sons kindergarden graduation... all those things. I get to see them and make them the best events ever for our kids. I find comfort in that. It used to hurt, but ultimately, it is XH that will be hurt when the kids would rather be with me than him for these things.


Hugs,


Angelena