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Want divorce need help
| Wed, 03-08-2006 - 4:58pm |
Hi everyone He won't leave and I am not giving up the house I paid for and would appreciate advice from someone who may have been there. I marriedmy husband when we were very young and imediatly we had our first child. This of course change everything about me and my goals and wants. I decided it was time to calm down start a career and live life for my children instead of partying. It took my husband 2 years to catch up with my way of thinking and I stayed by him sitting at home while he did his thing. Since then we have had another child and I am feeling very alone in my efforts to make this family happen. I know that I love my husband I just don't think I am in love with him and I know I don't like him most of the time. I have tried to share my feelings with him and he just turns it around and makes it all my fault and tells me all the things I have done wrong. I know I am not perfect but I try always. It has come to a point that I have Even told him I want him to leave and want a divorce( which is not a word that has ever come out of mouth before) He refused to leave and promised to change wich he has not. I dont think I can Continue in this relasionship but don't know how to get him out without him freaking out and not leaving. I would like this to happen in a way that we can still be decent to one another because of our children is it even possible?
Edited 3/8/2006 5:01 pm ET by realgirl06
Edited 3/8/2006 5:01 pm ET by realgirl06

Hugs, and welcome to the board. I think you'll find many women here who have been in a similar situation (ie - Xs that did not want to grow up).
First....are you absolutely certain you want to divorce? Have you tried marital or individual counseling at all? I only ask because even if you do decide to divorce, the resources a counselor can give you are so helpful.
I would also suggest you have a consultation with an attorney so you can ask specific questions about your house and assets. Most will give a free or low-cost initial consultation.
Hang in there, and keep posting.
Hi realgirl. What you are asking sounds reasonable. Very reasonable. But the problem is, and forgive me for defining your husband when I don't know you or him at all, it sounds like the more sense you make, the louder he yells and when you talk to him about what you want in him to change - he turns it around and dumps it on you, i.e. all YOUR faults and whatnot. Men unfortuanatly have an uncanny way of being complete selfish idiots.
The more something makes sense the more upset they get. Bottom line is, it will most likely NOT be easy at all getting him to leave. Seeing that you two are married, is the house in both your names?? You mentioned you bought the house. If you were the only one on the deed, then maybe you could have him forcably removed - if he completely refused to leave on his own. I'm guessing that the house is in both of your names and therefore will be next to impossible to get him out. You may very well have to be the one who leaves (just to get away from him).
Sacrifices suck. Big time. I do know all about that. I do wish you very good luck in dealing with this situation. But do remember - people do have the ability to change. Men have a hard time doing the changing because it's just too much work. Nine out of ten times a man is just too damn selfish to even make an attempt, nevermind making a lifestyle out of it. I feel for ya. I'm trying to divorce my jerk-off husband as well and are running into roadblock after roadblock. Very discouraging. But good luck with your problems and take care. Pam