Want it to be over

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Want it to be over
1
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 10:55pm

Well I was over at the Destined for Divorce message board but my STBX knows my acronymn, read the posting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 9:16am

Mom,


One day at a time. That's the best idea I can give you for how long it takes to get over the pain of divorce.


Allow yourself the opportunity to grieve and mourn your marriage. Divorce is a lot like a death without the funeral. So, you'll have to take things as they come.


I would encourage you to find a divorce support group or a therapist. Many churches have support groups as do many mental health centers. You'll find it cathartic to share your grief and frustrations with others and it will help you feel less isolated in your pain.


You'll have highs and lows for a while. Some days you'll feel great and others you'll feel lousy. That's part of the grief process. Eventually, you find the good days outnumber the bad and one day you'll realize you're not grieving any more. But no one can give you a specific timetable.


I found it helped me to have a small goal for each day like going to the grocery store and focusing on buying things for a specific recipe and then making it. I reconnected with old friends. I joined a gym and worked my anger and grief off on the treadmill (and lost 35 pounds in the process!). I also made a list of things I wanted to do as a "single again" woman. I have done many of the things on the list and marvel now at how it helped me focus on the future rather than the past.


I also recommend a terrific book, "Rebuilding: When your relationship ends." by Bruce Fisher. You'll find it very helpful in this process.


Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020


Some commonly misspelled words on this board:


You're = contraction of "you are"; You're going away?

CL-Wisdomtooth2020