Wanted to share situation with MIL ...
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Wanted to share situation with MIL ...
| Tue, 06-14-2005 - 7:08pm |
I receieved an email from her this AM (she lives in FLA & I am in RI, but she will be back in RI next week) ...


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Wow! What a powerful letter!
Great response Rebecca!
mark
MIL's reply i just got:
I
You are very lucky your MIL took that well. She was probably raised to believe that if you cannot say something nice, say nothing at all. Like Thumper, LOL.
I frequently write out long detailed letters like this. But I never send them. (And not because I am a nice person, LOL!) It's just that it won't make the man stop drinking. It doesn't put the marriage back together. If it's important for you to say to his Mom, "he is still drinking," then that can be said in just 4 words. I like to use the anonymous boards for vents like yours. And my MIL has let me know that she appreciates it.
Yeah, she pretty much gets "it". I think she had a momentary lapse of memory as to how bad it was. She is only here 6 mo out of the year, & the past 2 summers, she told me she "Honey, i cant even come to your home anymore b/c i cant stand to see the way he treats you". The last time she was at our home with him there with us, she left in tears. She really is a nice woman - but she also obviously did something wrong in raising her kids (& my FIL as well, they are D now). But she is trying now to make up for it. She has asked me so many times "What did i do wrong?" (out of 5 sibs, 4 are pretty abusive addicts who cant hold a job or a marriage) & i have told her honestly "They were raised with alcoholic parents, AND grandparents & abuse. There isnt much you can do to change all that now, but you are a wonderful Gramma to my daughter & thats enough for me to love you".
I feel badly though - it must hurt so much to see your children fail. Thanks R~
I knew actually how she would take it, or was pretty sure anyway. We have always been very close & very open with each other. (thats not at all to say that i EXPECT her to take a side ... i dont ... i have said thru this whole thing, all i ask of BOTH our families is that they take ONE side ... Averey's - my 5 yr old dd).
Actually, i dont see bitter or innapropriate in any of that letter - but then again, you dont know me, my MIL or our relationship - obviously.
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