wanted to share something DS said

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
wanted to share something DS said
5
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 9:22am

for those who don't *know* me - i will give you my history in a nutshell:

married at 21 to the 'love of my life' (my act of rebellion) - he was from a totally different background, his family were the Israeli equivalent of 'white trash' - nice enuf people, but from a different era. my first husband had a lot of issues and espcially anger - he was always getting into fights with people at work and getting fired, he would be threatening me etc. of course - he was gawjus and sexy.... we had a son, we got divorced when DS was three. i raised DS mostly on my own - DS had issues - he was diagnosed with adhd (althou as i mention in another post i didn't like that diagnose), but he was mainly ok. i really want to get married so as to give him a normal home and a 'father' (his bio-dad rarely saw him - bio-dad's choice). when DS was 11, i remarried - my first husband was a pussycat compared to second husband. he promised me the world and the stars and we had a terrible marriage - he was very abusive and controlling both toward me and my son. i was very much 'stuck' because i had no money but eventually (after my battling cancer and my son battling depression and being suicidal) DS and I walked out on his sorry behind.

anyway, we were talking last night, and i said that i was sorry that he (DS) had to suffer so much because of my bad choices. so ds said to me - that he is not sorry, because he beives that these are things that he had to go thru anyway, in order to mature, so i should stop feeling bad.

what a kid...

(i still feel guilty, tho....)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 10:27am
What a good kid! I think we often run around convinced that we've damaged our children beyond repair....and that really isn't the case. Sure, every parent has made mistakes. But truly, almost all of us love our children dearly and try to give them the best life possible. No one has an ideal childhood.....and there are different levels of "ideal" anyway. So listen to your son! He's being honest ;)




Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 11:24am

Wow... that's quite a young man you have on your hands there SK... I would be completely and totally impressed... and even if you do still feel somewhat guilty, comments like that show that you've done an amazing job raising him so far and you deserve a pat on the back!

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 1:05pm
thanks christine - i know all that 'in theory' - that nobody had an ideal childhood, etc, but when i see that my DS is still suffering, and still working so hard to get back on track - it hurts me that he is hurting...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 1:06pm
thanks for the pat on the back julie - he IS a great kid, after all
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 5:50pm
Wow!..... He sounds like a very intuitive guy ;-)

Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~