I was inspired to post here because I'm going through a divorce. I've posted for a couple of years at the Dealing with In-Laws board, and I really learned a lot about myself from my experiences there.
I, too, like that it's open 24/7, and the people here are so diverse. There are SO many points of view, and sometimes if you're feeling kind of alone, you can get stuck in a narrow viewpoint, but it helps to see the points of view of others out there. Some of us have been there, done that, but others have not.
Without this board, I would not have known to get my home inspected before starting the process of divorce. I believe this will be a turning point--- by fixing these things that have been broken for so long, good chi can now be nourished and flow. Already I can see changes.
Oh where to start. I started coming here 5months ago, but didn't post for a long time a little out of fear of him seeing something I had posted and a little out of embaressment. I gain a huge amount of information just lurking and it gave me the strength to post. I learned I wasn't alone. That was a big one. I was and still am in such shock that this has been a place to come and share my fears with someone who understands. I am so grateful that this board is here. I am not so sure I would have made it through the last 5 months without the ladies support and advice. On days when i am feeling terribly lonely I can come here and listen to what I feel have become my friends. Hugs to you all! Brenda
i started coming here when i was already a member of ivillage for quite some time. I don't know if it was because i really needed the help, or if this really is a special board - or some combination - but from the moment i started posting here about MY problems i felt right at home. i feel like the people on this board are my friends, they know me and my problems and they know when to give me some sugar-coated hugs and when to be firm. I like the way that newcomers are made to feel welcome, to give as much or as little information as they can at that particular point - and i think that is what makes people stay.
and yes, like with friends, sometimes people can say the wrong thing - but that is ok too. because somehow this board always manages to right itself.
I think that a great deal of kudos goes to the leaders of the board who have managed to set the right tone and keep it there.
I, too, was an iVillage member, but started out on the Betrayed Spouses board. I will always thank them for their 'tough love' and teaching me to draw the line that no contact meant just that "no contact!" I found this board after my Ex chose his 'friendship' over his family.
You all held my hands after that first difficult trip to the lawyer on 9/11 (yes, that 9/11 -- what a coincidence!) I was so embarassed that I couldn't answer the lawyers questions about financials, but you guided me through. And when my Ex dragged his feet for two years (he was supposed to file), you gave me the courage to file and to move ahead with my life.
So, what am I still doing here? I still need the support on those days when bills, responsibilites, parenting, etc. all make me crash. And you pick me up and place me back on the path and help me to remember that it's one step at a time.
I too started out on the Betrayed Spouses board and after giving my story and how stupid I was feeling by being betrayed so many of you gave me the support that I wasn't getting from the people who should have been my friends.
Which they are nothing to me now but I can still come here and my friends here will tellme how it is.
I was a long time Ivillage member before posting here. I always found excellent support in all the areas I needed (parenting, family budgeting etc.) so I felt very comfortable seeking out a support board when I saw that my marriage was in trouble. It eased my mind so much to "meet" other women who have been in the same situation as I have found myself in and I have felt very grateful when I've heard other women's stories that have been even more difficult than mine.
When I first found this board-in 2000-I was literally a useless piece of flesh. My now ex just left, I just miscarried and was in a black hole of a depression. I lost all hope that I'd survive this and actually thrive.
When I first posted-about 6 weeks after he left, I was scared and nervous. I got so many hugs and support and just felt like this was "the place" for me. I participated in the weekly chats more at first and what a relief to find some who have been exactly where I was and were able to help me climb out of my hole! The board just solidified things for me and friendships were made that continue to this day.
Posting in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep was therapeutic for me. I was addicted to the board-I kept checking for responses!! Sometimes the responses were exactly what I *wanted* to hear and sometimes they were exactly what I *needed* to hear (I may not have wanted to hear them though!). I still look back at some of my first posts and see where I was and compare it to where I am now.....and where I am now has alot to do with the support I got here back then. Actually, cl-wildlucky4me was one of the first members to reply to my post--and to think she's still here helping those who are in need.....
This board saved my life. By saying my life, I mean my inner self.
I found this board a little over 2 years ago. I was pregnant, alone, I had my then 4 year old son at home and I was THE most scared I have EVER been in my life.
I am sure you all feel this way when all of this begins, "I am the only woman in the world who will be divorced because of X, Y , Z..... " I thought I was the only one dealing with a husband who left his pregnant wife out of nowhere.... but I soon learned differently.
I admit, at first, I was shy and didn't really post a lot. I read a lot though. I learned even more. Karen, CL-Wildlucky4me was one to always respond to my posts and at that time, I needed someone who understood. The members of this board, understand. Even if our situations are not alike, we all have felt the same as another member at one point or another and we know how it feels. We ALL can help each other. We ALL have helped each other through some tough times.
This board helped me heal. In being able to help other people I have completely moved on from my marriage. I enjoy being apart of such a caring, warm, intelligent community and I learn something new everyday from you guys.
Being a curious one, I perused the boards and found this question posted on several of them. Is IVillage considering shutting some of the boards down? I'm sure they'll keep the Affair Support board cranking!
Pages
When I first found iVillage, about 6 years ago, I was looking for information about divorce before I first visited with an attorney.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I was inspired to post here because I'm going through a divorce. I've posted for a couple of years at the Dealing with In-Laws board, and I really learned a lot about myself from my experiences there.
I, too, like that it's open 24/7, and the people here are so diverse. There are SO many points of view, and sometimes if you're feeling kind of alone, you can get stuck in a narrow viewpoint, but it helps to see the points of view of others out there. Some of us have been there, done that, but others have not.
Without this board, I would not have known to get my home inspected before starting the process of divorce. I believe this will be a turning point--- by fixing these things that have been broken for so long, good chi can now be nourished and flow. Already I can see changes.
Best to you all,
Susie Y
Hugs, Brenda
i started coming here when i was already a member of ivillage for quite some time. I don't know if it was because i really needed the help, or if this really is a special board - or some combination - but from the moment i started posting here about MY problems i felt right at home. i feel like the people on this board are my friends, they know me and my problems and they know when to give me some sugar-coated hugs and when to be firm. I like the way that newcomers are made to feel welcome, to give as much or as little information as they can at that particular point - and i think that is what makes people stay.
and yes, like with friends, sometimes people can say the wrong thing - but that is ok too. because somehow this board always manages to right itself.
I think that a great deal of kudos goes to the leaders of the board who have managed to set the right tone and keep it there.
I, too, was an iVillage member, but started out on the Betrayed Spouses board. I will always thank them for their 'tough love' and teaching me to draw the line that no contact meant just that "no contact!" I found this board after my Ex chose his 'friendship' over his family.
You all held my hands after that first difficult trip to the lawyer on 9/11 (yes, that 9/11 -- what a coincidence!) I was so embarassed that I couldn't answer the lawyers questions about financials, but you guided me through. And when my Ex dragged his feet for two years (he was supposed to file), you gave me the courage to file and to move ahead with my life.
So, what am I still doing here? I still need the support on those days when bills, responsibilites, parenting, etc. all make me crash. And you pick me up and place me back on the path and help me to remember that it's one step at a time.
Thank you all!!
Edie
I too started out on the Betrayed Spouses board and after giving my story and how stupid I was feeling by being betrayed so many of you gave me the support that I wasn't getting from the people who should have been my friends.
Which they are nothing to me now but I can still come here and my friends here will tellme how it is.
Thank you all for being here.
I was a long time Ivillage member before posting here. I always found excellent support in all the areas I needed (parenting, family budgeting etc.) so I felt very comfortable seeking out a support board when I saw that my marriage was in trouble. It eased my mind so much to "meet" other women who have been in the same situation as I have found myself in and I have felt very grateful when I've heard other women's stories that have been even more difficult than mine.
When I first found this board-in 2000-I was literally a useless piece of flesh. My now ex just left, I just miscarried and was in a black hole of a depression. I lost all hope that I'd survive this and actually thrive.
When I first posted-about 6 weeks after he left, I was scared and nervous. I got so many hugs and support and just felt like this was "the place" for me. I participated in the weekly chats more at first and what a relief to find some who have been exactly where I was and were able to help me climb out of my hole! The board just solidified things for me and friendships were made that continue to this day.
Posting in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep was therapeutic for me. I was addicted to the board-I kept checking for responses!! Sometimes the responses were exactly what I *wanted* to hear and sometimes they were exactly what I *needed* to hear (I may not have wanted to hear them though!). I still look back at some of my first posts and see where I was and compare it to where I am now.....and where I am now has alot to do with the support I got here back then. Actually, cl-wildlucky4me was one of the first members to reply to my post--and to think she's still here helping those who are in need.....
This board saved my life. By saying my life, I mean my inner self.
I found this board a little over 2 years ago. I was pregnant, alone, I had my then 4 year old son at home and I was THE most scared I have EVER been in my life.
I am sure you all feel this way when all of this begins, "I am the only woman in the world who will be divorced because of X, Y , Z..... " I thought I was the only one dealing with a husband who left his pregnant wife out of nowhere.... but I soon learned differently.
I admit, at first, I was shy and didn't really post a lot. I read a lot though. I learned even more. Karen, CL-Wildlucky4me was one to always respond to my posts and at that time, I needed someone who understood. The members of this board, understand. Even if our situations are not alike, we all have felt the same as another member at one point or another and we know how it feels. We ALL can help each other. We ALL have helped each other through some tough times.
This board helped me heal. In being able to help other people I have completely moved on from my marriage. I enjoy being apart of such a caring, warm, intelligent community and I learn something new everyday from you guys.
Many hugs and thanks to everyone.
Angelena
Pages