was I wrong?
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was I wrong?
| Sun, 09-02-2007 - 11:49pm |
My H sent my daughter a check in the mail yeasterday. I got very upset about it. The check was from my H's gf. The letter that was enclosed was from my H's gf. He addressed the envelope. My daughter saw that there was a letter enclosed, she said "oh wow he wrote me a letter". As she was opening it, I heard her say "what the hell" this is one of her checks, then she said "this letter is from her, I'm not reading this". I heard the disappointment in my daughters voice. I know, she's 23, can make up her own mind, however, I still got very upset, and I didn't want her to keep it. She ended up tearing it in half. I know that somewhere down the line my H will throw this in her face. I also know that my H has lied so much to my children that they don't belevie anything he says.
they also have no use for his gf, they don't want to get to know her, they don't want anything to do with her. My children are very upset with their father right now, he knows this, he has to also know that he can't buy my daughter's forgiveness and he can't buy her love. She loves him, he's her Dad, however he lied terribly to her. It was bad enough he was lieing to me, he also lied to our kids. Was I wrong to get upset? Input and advice please?
they also have no use for his gf, they don't want to get to know her, they don't want anything to do with her. My children are very upset with their father right now, he knows this, he has to also know that he can't buy my daughter's forgiveness and he can't buy her love. She loves him, he's her Dad, however he lied terribly to her. It was bad enough he was lieing to me, he also lied to our kids. Was I wrong to get upset? Input and advice please?

You don't say how long you have been separated/divorced and how long your *adult* daughter has been dealing with this.
Your dd has every right to respond to the situation any way she choses. You can give her love and support and you can even be upset. I guess I just would say -- don't add fuel to her fire -- don't tell her how she should feel. If you are upset -- ok. If she isn't that is ok, too.
Sounds like she was upset and I can imagine why she would be -- Dad has disapointed her again and GF is trying to win her allegiance through money or something. Of course, the GF may have good intentions, but I can't address that.
Hth,
M
Thanks
Oh wow.
Is the GF in MD too?
Oh, yeah, stear clear and I think your dd probably did the right thing. How bizarre.
My sympathy on an incredibly painful and complicated situation.
M