Wedding Anniversary

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Wedding Anniversary
5
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 7:41am

here's my dilemma:

my wedding anniversary "would" be this week. to me, it is now just another day, for stbx it will be some sort of memorial to what a wh*re i am and how unworthy i was to ever have him and how he hasn't had sex in 580 days. lol!! (y'all know the my story, he is a drunk who couldn't hold a job and put us into foreclosure and bankruptcy, but because i had an A, its all my fault)

he will undoubtedly get drunk, call and harrass me all night long. any suggestions on how to spear head this ugly situation that will occur? i will turn my phone off for the evening, and he can no longer send me texts or emails. but i am scared because he is a time bomb. he calls me crying saying that he loves me, but then he gets so ugly about everthing else. i want to scream at him that its over and move on, but he is in such denial about the entire divorce, that i can't because he thinks if he ignores the situation, it will go away.

ugh. i am so tired of problems.

what

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 8:14am

I am sorry the anticipation of this night is weighing on you. Is there a friend who might come over and help pass the evening? That way, if there is trouble you won't be alone. Or maybe you could just be somewhere else if you are concerned that he is going to show up. I think being unavailable and not alone in addition to not taking his calls might help.

I'm sorry I don't have better suggestions that that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:28pm
I have a similar situation. My daughters highschool graduation falls on my wedding anniversary this year. I haven't seen or spoken to my abusive stbx in 9 years. He and his abusive mother have expressed interest in going to the graduation. I and terribly afraid of him (he knows this) and I know he will seek me out and harrass me in front of my children. I'm taking my bf with me, but I don't think that will deter my husband from making a scene in front of hundreds of people. I am scared to death and don't know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:35pm

nania

i just replied to you on another post. abuse sucks doesn't it? do you have anything in writing that forbids him from doing this?

is there anyway he will use his "best judgement" (if he has any?) and remember that the day is for your daughter?

i remember my cousins wedding 15 years ago. her parents were long divorced, but they got into a huge arguement the morning of the wedding. my poor cousin was so ill from the fighting that they had to take her to the hospital. she had a panic attack, she was vomiting, they had to give her something to calm her down, give her an iv. the wedding was delayed about 3 hours and the priest had to give the "quick" version to get the poor girl out of the church.

once at the reception, she seemed ok. but she was the most "beat" up bride i have ever seen. she looked terrible, thanks to her parents who had to act like @$$holes. (btw: her parents continue to ruin most events now, soccer games, first communions, dance recitals) unbelievable.

good luck to you, let us know how it goes.

what

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:37pm

i am not so worried about being alone because i feel bad that it is my anniversary. i just know he will get drunk and flip out. i am unable to turn my phone off as my dad is in the hospital and i would hate to miss a call.

i am expecting roses, long stem in a box, (my favorite) as a means to win me back. if and when they arrive, they will be sent home with my coworker.

sigh!

if only he'd gone to work, laid off the booze, and stopped sleeping on the couch, maybe we'd still be happily married.

what
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:52pm
Let him call and when he harrasses you, tell him firmly that if he does it again that you will call the police. And do call the police. Harrassment over the phone is illegal and falls under state and federal anti-stalking laws. Don't put up with it, you deserve a peaceful setting.