wedding ring

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
wedding ring
Mon, 09-12-2011 - 9:37pm

My husband left me without warning almost 6 weeks ago and moved 5 hours away. Realistically I know divorce is coming, but, my heart still loves him and I'm not ready to completely stop wearing my wedding ring. Last week I volunteered at a historic site that hubby and I had never been to to do some hurricane clean up. (I can't give $$ right now, but, do have time to give.) I decided that these people really didn't need to know my sad life story right now, so, I moved my ring to my right hand. When someone asked I said my husband and I were separated. After I left the historic site I moved my ring back to my left hand. Am I crazy for doing it this way? My husband had time to get emotionally ready for the split. A big part of me still feels married, yet a part of me is starting to make my life without him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2011
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 12:06am
My Mom situation is different at yet similar.

I'm very sorry to hear what has happened... life is short as is without the heartbreak of losing a loved one.

1. Wedding Ring: It is your ring to wear or not wear until you are ready to let go. It is ok if you are not ready, however I would move on as soon as possible for your own sake... It took my mother years to get emotionally over her split / divorce and that was not healthy.

2. It is ok to still love someone and no longer be with them. I would suggest you move on, the sooner the better, however I would remain friends if you can. I never understood why when two people who were in love at one time cannot remain friends.
Best of luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 9:36am

You aren't crazy for feeling

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 10:33am

I think you should just do whatever you want as far as wearing your rings.

Community Leader
Registered: 08-25-2006
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 5:12pm

I don't think you are crazy at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Tue, 09-13-2011 - 10:20pm

Interesting reading; I hadn't thought about the ring on the right hand bringing more questions than if it was on the left. I moved it to my right hand because that was my first step after my husband died 11 years ago. The day he left I wasn't wearing my engagement ring and I haven't put it back on. I guess I could take my ring off the next time I'm headed some place I'll meet new people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 5:24pm

The ring came off this morning. I was headed to another work day at the historic site and decided that this was a good day to take it off. I feel sad, but, it seems right. I put the ring in a small pouch and put it in my purse. I'm not sure if I'm ready to go to church tomorrow without it on, but, I've made a start. And I think a glass or 2 of wine will taste darn good tonight...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 09-18-2011 - 9:54am

That sounds great and you seem to be doing better than you think you could. You should be proud of yourself.

I have a strange story about wedding rings. I believe it took me awhile after my divorce to take mine off.

I live with family and my ex stayed in the marital home we had together. He bought me out..

Anyway; I went to the marital home where ex is a few months ago. I still have things there.. Well? he wasnt home so I went in and found a few things I needed.. Lo and behold I found our wedding rings on a table with some card saying how to sell gold or melt it or whatever. Mind you my ring was on the table also.. I called ex and I said.. Are you selling