Wedding rings...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Wedding rings...
7
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 12:59pm

When he arrived home from a business trip late last week, I noticed my stbx was wearing his wedding band on the other hand. He hasn't been true to me, hasn't kept his wedding vows, and yet it just made me sick to my stomach to see him not wearing it on his ring finger.
It has only been 3 weeks since he told me he wanted a divorce. I have been working through many feelings in the last three weeks (and have even had some good, strong, days) but for some reason the ring thing just threw me for a loop. I am so sad all over again. I don't want to take off my rings, yet. but then again, what do they mean now anyway?

Are you still wearing your rings? is your husband/wife/stbx still wearing theirs? any great insights into why this is bothering me so much? He knows it bothers me but I haven't bothered to tell him how much (I don't know that telling him my feelings would really make any difference at this point).

Any thoughts? I really need to come to peace with this... for some reason it is eating me up inside more than some of the other things/confessions I have heard this weekend.

hurtnlost

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2007
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 2:39pm

{{{{{HUGS}}}} to you!!


I am not at the point to offer any good, solid words of wisdom or why you feel the way you do..sorry


I moved out and filed in mid September 2007. That same week I went to the nearest mall and had my rings cut off (they were stuck lol). The first ring was a ruby ring he paid for around 10 yrs ago,,,I wanted it gone, no problem with it while it was being cut off. My wedding rings were a different story though. The tool the jeweler uses for cutting looks kinda like a hand can opener..well when he clamped on to my rings and started winding the cutting wheel, I felt a sharp pain..then that durned wheel started cutting into the palm of my hand..the guy freaked out over all the blood and said in all his 27 yrs as a jeweler that something like this had never happened..that the wheel CANNOT cut skin!


I have a scar..lol...Once he finally got the rings off I almost passed out..got light headed and dizzy..I joked later about the significance of getting sick and having those rings cut off...it just seemed weird.


I left all 3 rings behind..didnt even want the cash the jeweler was going to give me for them..


~Lisa  =))

 

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 7:40pm
I took mine off right away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 10:07pm

Hi Iladyja,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2008
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 10:33pm

Hi -


I've been lurking on this board after "graduating" from the Betrayed Spouses board, and I just had to respond to this one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 3:47am

Stacy, I loved your story about your ring.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 8:08am

The Wedding Ring Game, ah yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 1:55pm

Thanks for sharing your perspective. It is really hard for me to see things clearly at this point. Throughout our marriage he was very non-confrontational and definitely passive aggressive. Your interpretation makes a lot of sense.
It is still very hurtful and I am upset about it.
I will continue to wear my rings as long as I feel I need/want to - I had the initial idea that I should just take mine off too but I am not ready for that and won't let him push my buttons that way.

Hurtnlost