Went to dinner with him

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2005
Went to dinner with him
12
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 12:15am

Is there a limit on posts if so I hit it today. So dinner was not bad, it was not tragic in fact it was enjoyable. We talked and had a very nice time. He asked how I was doing and I let him know that I was fine but having a hard time adjusting. He told me that he had not been sleeping at night and he was feeling depressed. We talked about adjusting but not our relationship. I have no hopes that things will work out. I know him well enough that it won't take much and he will be upset with me again. He did at one point tell me how beautiful he thought I was, I reminded him he should have been saying those things long ago.

I can not let this slow down the progress I am working so hard to make. I miss him and I still love him but I can not sit here and wait and hope that he will feel the same way. It would take a lot on his part to make me want to start over again, he would have to realize the things he has done and that will never happen.

I did feel bad for him tonight though. Our youngest daughter had made plans for herself and our middle daughter to spend the night tongight. He was so exicted he went to the store and bought all of their favorite foods for breakfasts and lunch. He plans to get up in the moring and make their favorite breakfast, he was even upset that he forgot mayo for our middle daughters favorite sandwich. Since we went to dinner together I drove him back to the house to pick up our youngest daughter. When we got here she began to pout and whine and asked if she had to go and she did not really think that she was going to spend the night. She made a huge production out of how she did not want to go. I let her know she was hurting her dad's feelings. When she finally realized that she was going she then looked at him and said, well can you bring me right home in the morning. I felt so bad for him that I called our other two daughters and told them the story. They both headed right over to try and make the situation better.

I guess I should gloat and be glad for him to see what he caused but I could not see him so sad and hurt, it made me sad for him.

Like I said although it was good and it felt right again, I can't let that muddle my mind. I have to stay strong and not let this break me.

Have a great night. I will try to be quieter tomorrow.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 1:02am

Oh I am so glad to hear that you sound like me. I say that because it's nice to hear that you are feeling like I am. I go back and forth thinking that we could do well but then I try to remember all of the reasons I never felt that we were right for each other.

I find it funny but I have to keep reminding myself that all of the things I enjoy about myself are all of the things that he can't stand about me. He is a very good person but to other people, he treats me differently.

I feel good again and keep thinking of all of the ways I can move forward in my life. My mother helped me buy dressers this week and I am going to do my bedroom...for myself. I am actually very excited about it.

I'll be thinking of you as this weekend is coming up again. Have a great day and talk to you soon!!

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 10:25pm

Thank you... that's really sweet of you to say!

My week finished up well... I managed to get that assessment done, which is a relief, don't have to do that again... well, until this time next year... but I'll tackle it again then...

The warehouse visit was very interesting. I was very impressed by everything I saw and now have a greater understanding of what really goes on down there. They do a tremendous amount of work and it was a cleaner warehouse than any I've seen before...

It was nice to be back in the office today... got caught up (well, as caught up as I can get with as many things on my to do list)... my business travel schedule (if I'll have one this year) should be finalized soon and before we know it, it will be the middle of season...

Joey wants to go to firestations this weekend. My Joey is fireman and firestation and firetruck crazy... he really wanted to go Thursday after he got off of school, but I just couldn't do it. He's named at least 5 different stations he wants to go to tomorrow.

Do you have any plans for the weekend? Hope you have a great one!

*hugs*

Julie

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