went to a party with ex's family
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 09-23-2012 - 7:59pm|
My ex's bro & SIL had their 25th anniv. party Sat. night. I was invited along with my kids but my DD moved out of state and my 17 yr old son just didn't want to go. I have been to plenty of family occasions w/ his family before but usually my kids were around. this one I had to go to alone and for some reason it made me nervous. Like I saw them this summer because his niece graduated from high school but it was at their house, very casual, just hanging in the back yard. This was in a hall & I didn't know how many people would be there, would there be dancing, etc. But I really like the couple who had the anniv. So I got all dressed in a red dress, then I looked in the mirror & thought I might be too dressed up & changed into pants--you can't really blend in wearing bright red either. I was glad I changed since the people weren't that dressed up. There was dancing & of course I had no one to dance with which bothered me because I'm actually an excellent dancer--I take lessons & go out dancing a lot. But even my SIL's married sisters I noticed were dancing w/o their DHs. Oh & I had to sit at the table w/ my ex & his DW since most of the other tables were the other family or people I didn't know. I was glad when the other brother & SIL & their kids came.
So today I figured out what was bothering me. Even though it's been 16 yrs since I got divorced, there is still an element of wanting to show that it doesn't bother me & I'm doing better than ever. And it's not like I don't get along w/ my ex--after all this time, we get along fine. His DW is nice enough to me but I still feel "inferior' in a way because I'm alone. I did get remarried a year after they did, but the guy turned out to be terrible--he had a mental illness & that marriage only lasted 5 yrs cause I didn't want to admit I made a mistake. But then at least I had the facade of having someone and although he was terrible at home, he could keep up an act and be polite in public. I know what I'd really like is to be there w/ some hot guy on my arm. When I was leaving, the nice SIL said she hoped it wasn't too awkard for me, that she thought the kids would be there and she was going to pray for me to find Mr. Wonderful. Isn't that sweet?