We're back in court tomorrow for custody

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
We're back in court tomorrow for custody
3
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 9:45am

Hey ladies,

Lately Ive been someowhat of a silent partner, just reading not doing any posting. I need some good vibes. Ex and I are back in court tomorrow and I pray it goes in my favor. He did something unthinkable yesterday when dropping off ds. I still cant believe it. It was about 5 minutes to 6pm (drop off is 6) I had come down to put my clothes in the dryer and decided to check to see if he was outside. To my surprise he was. So I went out of my building and started to walk towards him. He was parked across the street from my building and the window was half way down, I called him he didnt hear so I walked a little closer, ds saw me and started say mommy, mommy so ex gets out, then takes ds out and puts him down in the street. He was holding his hand then lets him go turns his head and is getting ds' bag out of the truck, ds starts walking towards me and I started screaming at ex to get him. Then he's telling me I got him I got him. I was livid. I took ds and left. I got upstairs and when I calmed down a bit I called him and told him it's not safe to ever let go of ds hand in the street. He's telling me if ds hadnt seen me he would have not started walking to me (so I guess it's my fault that he's being reckless right?) I said look that has nothing to do with it, he says dont tell me nothing, dont say nothing to me, I just screamed at him he better watch it and hung up.

How can he be like this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 4:24pm

I was just coming to post and ask you if court was still on for tomorrow... and here you are.


Just wanted to send some good vibes your way.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 10:50pm

Good luck tomorrow! I have been thinking of you today while I was preparing to go to my stressful meeting with the ex and a psychologist. Remember, take the high road. Don't let your ex get to you! I know that can be hard - it was hard for me to keep my cool.

ExH and I went to see a psychologist today to discuss the problems our son is currently having. I was able to bring up my concerns regarding my ex's porn use in the past. He didn't deny any of it - including the child porn. Surprised me on that one. The psych asked him straight out if he was still using. Ex said he had no porn in the house at all - didn't look at it anymore. Psych asked him how he did it, if he'd been to a therapist, etc. Ex said he'd done it on his own. Who knows...maybe it will be OK.

I hope things work out well. I think the psych could see this has been hard for me, but that I am trying and that I do want what's best for my son. My ex seemed fairly relaxed compared to me, but occasionally did look a bit guilty when things were brought up that indicated he hasn't been communicating very well with me or trying to co-parent with me. His reason: when he felt too close to me, it made it hard on him to have a relationship with another woman. Psych said 'that's why you need to approach it as a different type of relationship." I said that I was trying to do it like it was business.

Psych really laid it on the line, in order for our son to really be helped, ex, new wife and I do need to collaborate together on my son's issues. I don't know if they are willing to - I am hoping I can get a lot done on my own without having to worry about what they are and are not willing to do.

Funny part of the meeting for me - he was talking about how he's changed - that he's more social now and likes to give parties, etc. That the problems we had in our marriage was communication and we were too 'different' from each other. Ick.

Hang in there, luvred! If you can keep your goal in mind and not let the ex get to you, that'll go a long way towards helping you get through the court stuff tomorrow.

Best of luck! And lots of ((hugs))

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 1:20am

Interesting how his mistake was somehow YOUR fault. I'm glad your DS is OK.


Good luck tomorrow!