What advice would you

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
What advice would you
3
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 4:31pm
Give to someone going through a divorce to make it easier?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 6:27pm

MAke sure you protect yourself-- legally

a lawyer or at least a mediator may be better than going the do it yourself route ESP if you have kids.
Try not to tell stbx everything you have up your sleeve....
Alot of times, you want to stay friends so you cont to tell him/her about your life.... dont esp anything involving a new bf or gf...

pray--- visit divorce support groups or if you can enter into therapy. Divorce is TRAUMATIC...... and of course please be 100% sure you no longer want to be in the realtionship....

good lcuk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 7:02pm

My 1st advice? Dont contact your lawyer for every little thing. I learned the hard way & many MANY 1000's of $ later!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 10:22pm

I agree with both replies. Also, from my own experience, make sure to make copies of all financial information (bank statements, stock information, other investments, etc.) and I mean ALL. Get original social security cards, birth certificates, etc (or at least make copies). Put in a safe place all baby albums, family photos, etc. My jerk of a STBX locked all those things up from me because I NEVER thought he would lock them up from me. I'm still battling for pictures of my children when they were babies. He even still has my old school yearbooks and my photo albums of when I was a teenager! So, anything worthwhile and that is cherished should be put in a safe place.

If possible, put some money aside. She could probably also change beneficiaries if she has a life insurance policy that has his name on it. This should be done BEFORE filing for divorce, but you can't do it afterwards. I would love nothing more than to remove his name off my life insurance policy and health insurance, but I cannot until the divorce is final. Also, he is the one who filed for divorce and before he did so, he took $15,000 out of our joint savings account (at his attorney's advice) because he said he feared I would spend it. Hah! Guess what? There's only a few thousand left because HE spent it. I have had absolutely no access to it whatsoever.

There are a lot of dirty tricks that go on during a divorce. I hope others learn from my mistakes.

Belinda