what am I thinking?
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| Sat, 12-10-2005 - 8:06am |
just a bit of background..my stbx gf works in the same "department" that I do just different "offices"..so I don't see her but we have mutual business friends.
there is a club that people from work frequent..and after work on Tuesday ..my stbx and his gf went there together for the first time since they started going out 8mos ago..
so friends that work in my office went too (I was sick so I didn't go-whew!)
So last night at work I asked one of my male co-workers if he met my stbx...he said yes he did...I asked sarcastically if they "made a good couple"...he said well as a matter of fact they do (nice huh...this is also a guy that has been asking me out since the separation)..
my reaction is what bothers me...I felt sick to my stomach..and very upset...but why?
I don't want him back...he makes me so angry..but the thought of someone else with him still makes me physically sick...it's not like I didn't know about her...he has been throwing her in my face for the last 8 mos...I don't get it..what am i thinking??

What are you thinking???.....
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I think your emotions are really normal...
For a long time I beat myself up thinking, what was wrong with me that he couldn't be nice to me the way he's nice to new wife? Then, I remembered, he was nicer to me in the beginning. My kids see the double standard, too. It's really nothing at all to do with me, it's only about him and him finally figuring out that he was making a mistake.
Too late for us, though. I'm moving on.
You will too.
For some reason, it's so very much harder on us women than on the men. Losing me didn't seem to hurt my ex much at all, another pain for me and another reason why we didn't need to be together.
Please do something very special for yourself...
thank you for your thoughts...
It's just that is has been so long but there are times I can't believe this has happened..I don't know it might be the time of year ... I just wish I would just "get on with it" like he has ..right now I'm just going through the motions trying to keep my head above water..
The men do for some reason I can't comprehend have a much easier time moving on than some women. Same story for the spouse who initiated the divorce. If the divorce was his idea, then he's had longer to get accustomed to it than you have.
I used to believe that I was controlled by my emotions, which left me a basketcase. Now I choose to believe the reverse. I am in control of what I think and what I feel to a greater degree than I ever before thought. I am responsible for my own mood and for my own happiness.
I know totally whatcha mean about treading water--it's so tiring. But I didn't drown and neither will you!
Do something fun and frivolous just to please yourself!