What can I expect in court-Uncontested..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
What can I expect in court-Uncontested..
10
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 2:41pm

I live in CT and will be going to court at the end of next month for an uncontested divorce. I guess some states don't require a hearing for an uncontested divorce, but we are required to go. My STBX and I are doing everything on our own - have had papers drawn up, have ironed out all of the custody schedules (2 young kids), division of assets, etc. We have been separated for almost 3 years.

What can I expect at the actual hearing? Will I (being the plaintiff) have to "get on the stand" or anything like that? Or will the judge just look over the papers, verify information, and grant the divorce? I am terrified of actually being there in the courtroom and having the spotlight on us!.. we just want to get this over with, but at the same time, do not want to be caught off guard in court having to do or explain things that we didn't anticipate.

Thanks in advance,
newoldmommy




Edited 12/6/2006 2:49 pm ET by newoldmommy

Thanks to Kris for the awesome sig!! xoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 3:56pm

Sorry, mommy - don't have any advice here - I am also curious to know how it will work out. I am wondering how to proceed exactly, and I hope you'll be back and tell us - and that someone who has gone through something similar will come and answer your question...

Best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 9:13pm
I live in Georgia and I'm going to court January 8th. I don't have a lawyer either. In Georgia you don't have the separation period and all you have to through. I filed October 25th - it had to run in the legal section of the newspaper for 4 weeks because my husband was no where to be found - he just left and never came home. I will be the only one that has to go - he doesn't even have to sign the papers or anything. They told me that I will have to stand in front of a table. And that they will ask just a few questions. Like when were you married, when did you separate, and are you sure you want this divorce and is it irretrievably broken. In our town usually only the person that files goes to court. He probably won't even know when the divorce is final. I'm asking for child support but since I don't have a lawyer I don't know if I will get it. I'm kind of nervous about going alone...but anyway.
Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 10:11pm

Hi there...

I'm in Georgia too and I was required to be at the hearing for my divorce. I filed, so I was the plantiff and my now xh was the defendant. I got sworn in and was asked a couple of questions about the settlement agreement that the judge reviewed, and then my xh was also asked a couple of questions... mainly about making sure that we agreed to the custody and visititation since we have an unconventional agreement in that respect--well, custody is "normal" but visititation isn't as he didn't want much time with him and didn't want holidays, so I have all that...

Then the issue of child support was also addressed as my xh was, at that time, three months behind on support, so the judge signed an agreement with a payment plan that was meant to get xh back on track--nice in theory, but I have since filed for full child support enforcement...

If its uncontested, I don't believe you have much to worry about--it was mainly verification of what was written in my case... Good Luck and keep us posted!

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 6:25am
Was your husband required to be there because of the child custody questions? I know that I've talked to about 4 or 5 people here in town and none of them had the defendent there - even the ones that have lawyers - only one of the couple went. Actually I have a friend that is going to court on the 13th of this month - and she is the only one having to appear in court. My husband has no idea when the court date is going to be - and we are not even sure that he knows about the divorce. It was filed by publication because we had filed a missing persons report on him. Once the publication of 4 weeks was over - that meant he would not have to sign a paper at all - didn't have to be served with papers - because he was no where to be served. I was actually hoping to be able to go court next week also - but it was changed until January 8th - because they had to be 60 days from the date the court order was signed to go in the paper which was October 25th - so to make it completely legal - it had to be January. The day I went to the courthouse to file the papers - I called one of his truck driving friends and asked him if he ran into him anywhere to tell him I had filed - and being that I have only seen him one time - I'm not sure that the divorce was mentioned - we talked about 20 minutes out on the porch - that was the night he told me he had gotten a job. So I have one month and one day left.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 6:29am
One other thing I just thought about - the courts considered my husbands leaving without ever coming back abandonment - so child custody was never an issue with us. They actually made me remove any visitation rights from the court documents because he left and didn't return. Of course I would never deny him the right to his children - our daughter is 17 though - will be 18 in March - so she never has to see him again if she chooses not too...our 13 year old son doesn't want to talk about him at all - to anyone, I've had the school counselors, the youth minister, and some others try and talk to him - he said he tries not to think about him at all ever....I know that he does think about him and misses him terribly - but I guess this eases his pain in some sort of way.
Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 6:59am

No, xh wasn't required to be there--even if he hadn't been there, the judge would have addressed the CS issues as my lawyer had drawn up a document showing the arrears. When I talked to my xh about it though, I told him that since it was ~my~ divorce that I would want to be there, even if I didn't have to be... just to make sure everything went as I had been anticipating... which is true, I would have been there even if I was the defendant... but I wouldn't worry about it too much in your case. My xh had agreed in the divorce agreement to begin paying CS in Feb of that year and this was April and he hadn't paid a cent at that point...

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 10:24am

Hi there. I live in CT, but I did use a lawyer for my divorce (as did my ex) because we could not agree on anything. So I don't know exactly how things will go for you, but I can tell you my experience.

When I was in the court room, I didn't see any instances where both parties did not have an attorney...one or the other usually had one. In the cases where the person didn't have an attorney, the were addressed by the judge directly. In all cases, both parties had to get on the stand and answer basic questions.....did they understand everything, were they coerced into the decisions, etc. In every case, people were called up as Smith vs. Smith, so there was always a plaintiff and a defendant.

So in the end, you may have to get on the stand in the courtroom, but it will be very brief. I'm happy to answer any other questions you night have. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 10:28am

Thanks SO much everyone. I will definitely keep you updated on what happens in Jan. We have everything written our in our agreement, and agree on everything, so I think we should be ok. The only thing the judge might smirk at (as the clerk did) is that we are both forfeiting child support for now, with the understanding that either of us can file a motion for it any time in the future. (We have been separated for so long now that it really isn't an issue... we both have been managing our own finances and everything for the kids 50/50 and it has worked out fine)

Thanks again!
newoldmommy

Thanks to Kris for the awesome sig!! xoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 4:31pm

I posted to you on Divorce and Custody, but I will copy and put here too:

I live in CT, and I believe you will be called to the Judge and he will read (maybe even completely aloud) the Agreement. He will ask you each separately if you have read and signed the Agreement. He will ask you if you are aware of your right to attorney representation, if you choose.

My guess if it is all 50/50 time, money, debt, etc. You will be in and out in 15 minutes from the time your docket is called.

Good Luck.

(do you mind telling me which courthouse you are in?)

Also, I think the Judge will tell you that c/s can be revisited/changed at any time. I think that you said you were only married only 3 years, otherwise he would advise someone (not sure of who in your situation) that you may be or have been entitled to alimony, and that CANNOT be changed after agreeing to none here in CT.

Please let me know if you have any questions. Not only did I go through a long process divorce, but I work for a divorce attorney in E. Hartford, and have seen all kinds, and would be happy to ask him any specifics.

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 9:22pm

Yeah, I don't know how the judge will take the forfeiting of CS--I would really recommend that you get it taken care of now, even if by CS you both agree to contribute to say a college fund for your children. When I spoke to our judge, he made it very clear that the CS isn't for us--it is for the children...

I'll be interested to know how that works out, so please keep us posted...

Julie