What to do.............

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
What to do.............
12
Thu, 11-21-2013 - 2:32pm

I have been divorced for 5 years.  I was to get so much for child support, so much for alimony for a few years and half of the credit card bills he ran up in my name (that I was stuck paying half for) until they were paid off.  He has NEVER paid his half of the credit card bills, ever.  I was told that I would have to hire an attorney and take him back to court.  But  since I still get alimony I am using that as his half of the bills until they are paid off.........I have never used alimony for my needs, ever.  He is to pay for half of our daugher's extracurricular activities.........and half of medical expenses that aren't covered.........sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't.........I keep track and let it go.  But what kills me is that after we were divorced he was ordered to NEVER use a joint credit card again...........I closed them all and thought that was the end of it.  Then six months after our divorce I get a bill for $3500.....that he used to buy gifts for his new girlfriend.  I took him to court.......he was ordered to pay me, didn't..........I was told I could bring him back to court but he could have his wages garnished and lose his job over it.  Now his NEW wife is telling me that the only thing he owes me is child support..........they have their own family to consider (they have no children together, although my child thinks the wife may be pregnant).............I don't want to wind up getting even less than I get.........but I almost feel bullied............I have our daughter 7 days a week, with the exception of 2 hours on a Monday.  What would you do?????

 

Thanks,

 

Karry

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-21-2013 - 2:42pm

I would file a contempt and take the jerk back to court for every cent he owes you.  He doesn't pay you because he knows he can get away with it.  And why do you think he could lose his job over having his wages garnished?  Does he have some kind of high security position?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Thu, 11-21-2013 - 2:49pm
I told him that if my child support/alimony changes I will have no choice but to take him back to court. One of his bosses e-mailed me last year that he owed her money and she didn't want to sue him because he would get fired because he has had problems with lawsuits, etc. He works in maintenence at the county jail...........he used to be a superviser at the courthouse but got caught stealing and was demoted to the jail......a crook working around other criminals......go figure. Aslo, does you or anyone else know, if his wife has a baby will my child support go down? Thanks!!!!!

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2002
Thu, 11-21-2013 - 2:51pm

First of all, the new wife has no business saying anything to you regarding the money your ex is supposed to be paying to you for alimony and for child support.  If she ever brings it up, just cut her short and let her know it's none of her business.  The *only* way you are going to get your money on a consistent basis is if you bring him back to court and have them garnish his wages.  Who told you that would make him lose his job?  You need to consult with an attorney who is squarely on your side to ensure you are getting your court ordered support, along with the money for the credit cards run up by him.  You are absolutely correct when you say you are being bullied, don't let him get away with it, stand up for yourself and your daughter.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

.  -Albert Einstein

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Thu, 11-21-2013 - 2:51pm

Sorry for the typos........he (and she) has me rattled!!!! 

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-21-2013 - 9:44pm

No your child support should not go down because of his subsequent child/ren--he already had that obligation & should have thought about it before having more kids.

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Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Fri, 11-22-2013 - 8:50am

  Before you do anything think of what you want.  I suggest total custody and cut him out of your life.  Yes it is aggravating but if he won't pay and get unemployed you won't get anything anyway.  But,he may straighten up.  Then you can if you want to strike.  I suggest being career orientated and making the best of the situation. 

   The new wife probably has no idea of the financial mess.  Nor the usage of a credit card he had no right to use.   Getting him out of your life and having no rights is the best.  Document ,document,document so you have  evidence if you need to go to court. 

Goldfish

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 11-22-2013 - 11:13am

Getting full custody (legal and physical) would not relieve the guy of the obligation to pay child support--plus since he is only seeing the child about 2 hours a week anyway it wouldn't make much difference as a practical matter.  why spend time  & money on that when what she needs is for him to obey existing court orders?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Fri, 11-22-2013 - 11:31am

His boss told me that he is on probation and any more garnishments or slip ups will result in job loss.  His wife contacted me on facebook previously and wanted to know what he owes me, etc.  I asked her to please speak with him as that is our issue.  I talked to the judge's office today......she said to think it over and if I wish, we could hold a hearing.  She also said that because the amount he owes me on the bill he ran up after our divorce is under $1000 I could now take him to small claims......not sure why I would do that when I already have a judgement against him.  

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Fri, 11-22-2013 - 11:33am

That's what I was thinking!  That's like me telling my fiance that he should pay less to his children because we are getting married and I have a child!!!!

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2003
Fri, 11-22-2013 - 11:38am

He pays child support because it is directly taken out of his check.......luckily.  As for custody, I have full custody with limited visitation.  He went all summer without any contact with our daughter at all........not sure why, he said it's because he knows she is busy.  I mean really?  I'm a mess when I go a week without seeing her, a whole summer?  That would destroy me!!!  His wife knows of his mess, she is now trying to clean it up.  I get her frustration, but they shouldn't have married until he cleaned up what he owes me and if child support bugs her, then they should have waited until our child was grown.  Just because she has five kids who she hasn't raised with the exception of this youngest, when she feels like it, isn't my problem.

Karry - - who is learning to embrace life on her own raising her miracle, Carley Paige

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