What do I do now?
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| Sat, 03-05-2005 - 10:12pm |
My divorce was final Friday. I went to court completely prepared, but I left in total dispair. I had a licensed LCSW testify on my behalf that my daughter was too young to go spend extended periods away. She had documented proof, that young children at or around the ages of 18-19 months have developed separation axienty from the parent they have bonded the most closely with. When you take the child away from the parent for extended periods, especially overnight, it adds more trama to the child. The judge completely dismissed this professional. The judge gave my ex 72 hours of overnight visitation. I was not trying to keep my daughter from her father, I just did not was overnight visitation until she was at least 2 or 3. That way, she could vocalize if something was wrong with her etc.
The judge also completely dismissed the fact that I had to have a restraining order from my ex, and that he had anger problems towards me and my daughter.
The judge is not making my ex pay back child support either. In addition, my ex quit a high paying job for a lower paying one so the c/s would not be as high. The judge ruled in his favor that he would only have to pay between $200-250 per month, instead of basing it on his past employment.
The fact is is that I could care less about c/s. I just want my daughter to be safe, and I know that she will be in harms way with my ex. However, the judge did not care. I spent over 3 hours in court listening to my ex lie about me, etc., and in the end, did not get the most precious thing....my daughter's safety.
I want to appeal the decision, but I feel that it will only be useless. What if I moved to a different county and appealed it in a different court? Does anyone think that would make a difference? I'm completely at a loss....and I have 7 days before I have to send my daughter away to a violent man. Please please help me.

Situations like these are so hard to advise on. It makes no sense to me that legalities can overwrite the emotional/physical and evidential evidence in a case like this.
I think legal advice is all you can do. Talk to your attorney, if you can't find one, call neighborhood legal services in your area and get some advice.
We can all give you what we think you should do, but honestly, your lawyer should be there telling you what to do. Options are the key and knowing your rights are the bigger picture.
I am so sorry you are going through this. HUGE HUGS from me and everyone else here.
Good luck and if you need anything at all, please let us know.
Hugs,
Angelena
try the phone book in county services, try local universities law schools (many have legal aid available) try another paid attorney, etc
above all dont give up
just another thought : if hes mad about child support he may be willing to sign away his legal rights to the child, which as i understand it would mean he would not be forced to pay child support, and the benefit for you is he would have no visitation rights.
good luck to you
i know it doesnt change anything but we are thinking of you
:)