What to do? Thoughts? Advice?
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What to do? Thoughts? Advice?
| Wed, 08-24-2005 - 12:26pm |
I haven't dated since I separated from my ex almost 3 years ago. Divorce should be final any day now, so that's not an issue. Issue - I think I just somehow agreed to go on a date with a guy who works for my company Friday. That we work for the same company is a minor consideration, but he works outside the office, so not a major concern. I know he's older, divorced, has teen kids. He's fairly attractive, we've always gotten along well and have had some good chats and it seems like we have similar values. But I don't know if I think of him that way and I just looked and he's actually 20 years older than me. I totally didn't expect him to ask me out and I found myself saying 'ok' before my brain really caught up to what was going on. But I don't know whether I want to go, or whether I just said yes to avoid awkwardness. Part of me thinks that well worst case scenario we have dinner and chat and I get to know a casual acquaintance a little better. But I'm embarrassed to tell my best friend about it, which makes me think I shouldn't be doing something if I have an urge to hide it from people I tell everything. So any thoughts/opinions? Would you gracefully (aka cowardly) back out of it by saying you had something going on you forgot about? (Eeek - actually I just remembered I do have an eyebrow appt at 4:30 Friday, which I would have to cancel to go on the date, and I'd have to tell my best friend something since I'm supposed to be going with her). Or would you go? OK, I'm going to go hyperventilate now, lol.

No way! Not another 3 years.... good for you for making the decision YOU want to make, without feeling like you HAVE to go out with this guy.
Hugs,
Glad everything worked out :)
Good one! And no, it won't be three years. I think as your "final" date nears, you will be discovering more and more opportunites, as you begin to feel more free. Good luck,
L
Remember... not all "dates" should be considered for long term serious commitment value.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Thanks for your input, everyone. =) I don't know whether I'm quite ready to date or not - I think part of me has been waiting for things to be totally final with my ex so I don't have to communicate with him anymore and I can just focus on my life and my future. I do think I'm nearly there, though.
I don't think this was a case of me being too selective about who I'd date - I'm pretty flexible about looks, income, being divorced, having children, etc., and I don't believe you have to feel an instant attraction for something to develop. I also don't expect that the next guy I date is going to turn out to be Mr. Right (although a girl can dream, lol).
I think this was more about my bad habit of agreeing to things I don't want to do to avoid conflict. I've been a lot better about saying no in the last few years, but when put in an unexpected situation my first instinct is to fall back on that bad habit and then regret not taking the time to think about it before I agree to it. Guess I need to work on that one some more.