What do you do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2000
What do you do?
6
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 8:42am

Thank you for the support that I have received in my posting about my divorce. I have a HUGE dilemma! Long story short, Thursday of this week I go to court with dh regarding the final hearing for our divorce. He does not know the sex of the baby that I had this past February 2006. He keep pressing for information, whether it is a boy or girl. What their name is,etc. My attorney had initially told me not to contact my husband to tell him that the baby was born. Last Monday, I went into go over paperwork with my attorney. He mentioned that due to my not telling my husband about the baby the judge may question my reasoning for not contacting my husband on the birth of our son. I have all along wanted to tell my husband. I feel that even though he has issues, he should know about his son.

What do you do? Is there anyone in my situation or has anyone been in this situation?

TIA

Christy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2000
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 11:43am
bump

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 3:24pm

Hey Christy... plain and simple... the reason you did not tell your husband is because your attorney advised you not to.... and when your attorney said that the "judge might question your reasoning" I'd have said.... "my reasoning was because you advised me not to have contact with him!"


I'm sorry.... but unless there is abuse involved that is documented.... in my opinion, keeping daddies out of the loop is a big no-no in the eyes of the court... especially when they are asking to be involved.


So, I would talk to your attorney further before you do talk to your husband.... but definitely, the air needs to be cleared to pave the way for him to help you co-parent.... especially if he's half willing.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2000
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 8:24pm

THank you for your thoughts!

I contacted dh regarding baby, tried to clear the air before Thursday. He said that if I do not let him see the baby this weekend, he will call the cops on me!!!

I e-mailed him (politely) and told him that this is why we are going to court on Thursday to determine visitation. He did not need to threaten me and he needed to help me, he has paid nothing and was never there for any of the past nine months.

Christy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 8:50pm

Hey there... I just wanted to add that when you communicate with him, remind him that this whole "court" thing gives you BOTH... and your child "rights insurance" ;-) so to speak.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 2:05am
My experience with an attorney giving me such detrimental advice was to fire him. I found a new attorney. The old attorney ended up at my divorce trial with his attorney testifying to his major screw-up. He also ended up getting disbarred in great part due to my complaint to the state bar. I'm not trying to scare you. I realize that at this point you don't have much of a choice for Thurs. You may want to think about talking to another attorney as soon as you can.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Wed, 05-24-2006 - 12:56pm

I agree...definitely a good idea to make sure the judge knows she was acting under the advice of her legal counsel.




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