What I Want..... VENTING
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| Fri, 05-11-2007 - 1:35pm |
I want a normal life.
A life with a h who isn't an alcoholic, who goes to work and supports his family. Kids who worry about normal things, like homework, not why don't we have a family like we used to, a home with a loving family, not one with a roommate sharing expenses.
i am 40 years old. i thought by this point in my life i would be consumed with preparing my older son for college, continuing to grow a nest egg for retirement, and watching my children grow into beautiful, productive members of society WITH THEIR FATHER BY MY SIDE. but no, i am alone, in a house with a roommate and her kids, sharing living expenses so i can survive until my next payday or until my stbx decides to mail the child support check. in the meantime, i have to take stbx to court for his continued intimadation and harrassment. my roommates 16 year old attempted suicide last night (he took 20 benadryls) over a girl, my father is still in the icu, day 9, for alcohol withdrawals, my friends have abandoned me for having an affair, my xap won't talk to me, because my stbx told his w about our a, and i feel like a total failure.
why is life so hard? and will i survive this "winter period" of my life? i need springtime.
ugh
what.

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Oh God, honey, words cannot express ... I am SO SO sorry!
Yes, me too, although I don't have it so bad (yet).
I will keep you in my prayers!
M
You and I should take up writing country songs, lol. I'm 47 and my alcholic ex just left me (what does that say when you get dumped by a drunk? lol). My dad died 4 days after stbx left. My kids want NORMAL so badly it stinks but everything is up in the air.
I'm afraid we lost to a mistress we can't fight. Alcohol. I wouldn't care except for my kids. They're the only reason I stayed as long as I did. Not that staying with an alcoholic is a good thing but it's better than the damned 50/50 physical custody arrangement my stbx wants in order to avoid child support. I WISH he actually wanted the kids. He just doesn't want to pay anything.
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gr8,
my kids are the reason i stayed. once we lost the house to foreclosure and had to file bankruptcy, it hit me. starting over with his jobless drunk @$$ wasn't going to happen. i have $30 in my checking account until payday. and you know what? i have never been happier or more at easy with myself in my entire life.
F him, and his booze.
happy mothers day.
what
I remember something from when my fist child was an infant and I asked when my life would be normal again. I was told that life will never be like it was, that now I have a new normal. With every change there comes a new normal. Life seems normal, there is a sometimes turbulent transition, and then we settle into our new normal. It's life and sometimes it really sucks, but we keep going along on our path and you must know that one day things will feel good again. I'm a true believer that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Wait till you see how wise and strong you will be. You're well on your way!
Hugs,
Melanie
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oh, i wish i could agree with that. the past few days have been so hard. (actually, truth be told, the past 4.5 years have been hard.)
am i ever going to make it through this maze?
What
It is very hard, but you are on your way. You've taken the hardest steps so far and while there will be more difficult ones, sometimes just the deciding and doing is the hardest part. Like you said, the last 4.5 years have been rough, don't forget you're on your way to calmer, happier times. Even if you don't believe it or see it yet, when you look back, you'll see the strides you've taken.
Melanie
(((((((what))))))
(((((((melanie))))))))))
the support here has been incredible. thanks!
what
christine
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie
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