What last name do you use since divor...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
What last name do you use since divor...
17
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:41am

What last name do you use since divorce(please give your reason for your choice)



  • I kept my married name.
  • I went back to my maiden name.
  • Other


You will be able to change your vote.


 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 10:48am

I voted other because I still haven't decided what to do. My divorce isn't final for another couple months and in the beginning I never really gave any thought to changing it, but lately I've been thinking about it more and more. The only reason I haven't changed or may not change it back to my maiden name, is so I would have the same name as my kids.

Any thoughts?

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 11:37am

I've kept my married name.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 12:33pm

i have to explain:
when i got divorced from my first husband, i kept my married name,because that was my DS's last name too.

When i got divorced from my second husband, i went back to my maiden name, it would have been weird to go back to my FIRST married name, even tho that's DS's name, because ... I don't know, i was just so removed from it. i never felt connected to either of "their" last names. right now, i am very comfortable with my "old" childhood name!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 12:35pm

I went back to my married name for three reasons:

1 - During my marriage, I got into genealogy and found out a lot more about the history of my maiden name. I thought what I found out about it was pretty cool. My name is difficult to pronounce and spell (it's French), but it is fairly unique. Maybe 1,000 people in the U.S. have this last name.

2 - The reason I divorced my ex was because he had started looking at child p*rn - I was so disgusted with him, I didn't want to have the same last name as him. His name isn't as unique as mine, but it is unique enough that if he were to get back into the illegal stuff and get arrested, I didn't want to be easily tied back to him!

3 - I was 99% sure my ex would re-marry and I didn't want to be confused with his new wife. I am 99% sure I WON'T get remarried, so I may as well have a last name that I love having.

Sometimes I think it may have been easier to keep the married name: changing it for my Social Security card, at the banks, for the driver's license, and for my retirement plan was a huge pain in the butt. Plus, I keep getting called Mrs. XYZ by the school and the daycare. But I figure, the school and places like that are going to keep on getting confused - especially now that there is a new wife.... All in all, I am pretty happy with my decision.

I know two ladies that kept their married names. They did so because they hadn't chosen to divorce, they felt that they were entitled to keep the names, it's a huge pain to change it and they wanted to have the same last name as their kids. One lady is now considering changing her name now that her kids are all grown up.

It is harder to go back and change it years after the divorce since you have to go back to court. It is easy to do it at the time of the divorce if you say that you are going to change it back in the divorce decree - that route might save some $$ if you are sure you want to change it now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 1:33pm
When I married I used a hypenated version of both our last names. I continue to use it. I am very proud of my name. I always have been. I also kept it so my children would have the same last name as I partially did. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 2:11pm
I hyphenated my last name when I was married to the ex because, quite frankly, it kind of allowed me to keep one foot out the door. And I generally referred to myself with my maiden last name. Because of the relationship we had, I just didn't want to take his last name entirely. After the divorce, I went back to my maiden name...no hyphen. I'm remarried, and took my husband's last name this time. For me personally, it felt like my was of committing to him. But I did have to think it over long and hard before I did it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 2:35pm

I've kept my married name because:
1) I married young and used my married name longer than I had used my maiden name
2) It's the same last name as my kids, youngest is 2 1/2.
3) My professional career was all with my married name.

If I ever remarry, it will be a tough choice to take my new husband's name, keep my original married name, or maybe go back to my maiden name.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 2:40pm

I kept my married last name when I got divorced... being pretty sure that I will be remarrying... so I didn't want the hassle of changing to maiden then to new married... so, my name is now Kerry R...... and when/if I remarry it will be Kerry P... but I plan to use R-P for "kid related" stuff, school notes, to be identified to my kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 2:46pm

LOL


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2001
Wed, 10-25-2006 - 3:42pm

I kept my married name because it was easier, I'm known that way professionally, and Rosie didn't want me to change it.

But the bonus in it is that XH's NW HATES that we have the same last name. Sounds petty and mean, but I do have to chuckle every time I hear she's cranked about it.

~calla~  mom to rosie and gracie

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