What should I do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
What should I do??
3
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 11:44pm

This weekend is Thanksgiving here in Canada. It is not as big a deal as in the USA but still very important. I informed dds 14 and 16 that this year that my sister was hosting the big dinner. Who then in turn informed their dad as this should have been his weekend. He doesn't speak to me. He informed them "that since it is his weekend it was not fair that they come with me." I understand the weekend thing but they have not attended any family functions since this past Christmas b/c they always fall on his weekends. I think he is just trying to isolate them from my family like he did with me for so many years.

I couldn't understand why they couldn't come for a few hours. It's not that they were doing anything anyways. His family was not getting together, he coaches minor hockey (boys)and had a game this evening so the girls were alone. Now I just found out that he let my oldest go to a friends for the night. WTF!!!

I just don't know how to deal with this a**hole any more. He continues to manipulate the girls to try to hurt me. And when they do try to stand up for what they want he just shuts them down like this weekend.

There have been numerous times when his family functions fall during my time and because I feel it is important that dd's maintain a relationship with both families they go.

If and when will he realize that he is only hurting our girls???

I could just scream!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 1:53pm
Do you not have assigned holidays in your divorce aggreement? Mine is set so I get my boys every other holiday. I also get them every Easter and my ex gets them every Labor Day. Also it is set so that we trade off the everyother holiday so that not just one parent gets to spend all Xmas, Thanksgivng, etc. with the boys. This year i have Thanksgiving. Next year I will have Xmas. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 5:12pm

No it was not stipulated how holidays should be split. When this was discussed and still to others he portrays himself the victim who loves and misses his children soooo much!!! He wanted to be a part of their lives so visitation is "liberal" little did I know that this was to mean that I would get no say. Should have known better!!

DDs have to tell me everything as far as arrangements go. When I do call to discuss anything about them he just hangs up when he hears my voice. So I started sending letters, well that didn't work either he never responds. And if I don't tell him what's going on, I'm withholding information about the children. What a crock of !!!

This from the cold, manipulative,abusive son of a gun that can't even buy his daughters anything even if they need it and still won't pay child support!!! AAAARGH!!

Sorry still ranting!!!




Edited 10/12/2005 7:39 am ET by frustrated1161
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 10-10-2005 - 8:40pm

The best thing to do is wait until he needs a favor.

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