what to tell young siblings, need input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
what to tell young siblings, need input!
1
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 8:54am

Okay, I've filed for divorce from my husband, we were married almost 3 years. He is the one who initiated the divorce, left me,doesn't want to be married, settled down, etc, ect.

Okay, I'm the oldest of 6 kids, and I have very young siblings, 3, 7, and 11. They think my stbx hung the moon, they love him, as they practically grew up with him around all the time. Well, he moved out and left me, they haven't seen him since then, and the 11 year old is starting to ask questions. Now, I'm leaving everything up to my parents, how they raise their children isn't any of my business. But my mom didn't want to tell my younger sibs until it was more final. (I don't agree, I think we should have told them 2 months ago, but it's not my place) (I've already filed) So, she asked me what we ought to tell them, and asked me if I would be there when they talked to them. I said of course I would.
Anyhow, my family is Catholic, and totally doesn't believe in divorce. And they don't want the kids to worry if Daddy might leave mommy because sister's husband left her. (mom and dad married for 25 years, not going anywhere!) So, I don't have kids, so I don't have much instinct on what to say, and my mom asked my opinion of how we should explain it to them.

So, that's my question for ya'll, how do you explain a relative's divorce to little kids so they don't constantly worry about it happening to their mommy and daddy, and so that they don't become de-sensitized of it, like it's a normal usual thing that happens in a marriage? Any input is greatly appreciated!!! take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 11:02am

Well..... first of all, you can use the part about not having kids to your advantage..... "you decided that things weren't working out like you both wanted, so you decided to go your separate ways before you had children."


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~