What was your X;s/STBX's....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
What was your X;s/STBX's....
33
Sat, 04-08-2006 - 10:11am

major complaint or complaints about you? Before I moved out of the house, I asked my STBX what was so bad about me.....what should I have changed? His answer:


"You didn't go out with friends enough."


Oooo...that made my blood boil. No, I didn't have the social life of the century, like he did, but SOMEONE had to be home to raise our DS! I think it was just his way of projecting on to me that his going out 6/7 days a week was "ok." Wouldn't most men LIKE to have a committed wife who actually wanted to be home with their family?? I don't know too many men that would say, "Gee, I'd like it if my wife was out partying more!"


The other complaints were that I nagged too much, and of course, didn't want sex enough.


Just needed to vent this morning and see what anyone else had to say!




What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 7:25am

Hopefully thanksgiving and easter meals tasted good. LOL. :)

Really, though, one of the biggest things that I cherish in life is my individuality. It's something that my parents instilled from very early on - that no two people are exactly alike. And STBX would always tell me that I was perfect just how I was, until Mommy came to visit, and then he went back to his "I wish you were more like her" attitude, and would stay there for weeks.

Last year, on Columbus Day, I invited both sets of parents down for Thanksgiving dinner. (His family is Canadian). When his mother showed up, I was headed upstairs with six bags of groceries. She actually pouted because I couldn't give her the "proverbial mother in law hug." Then, when my mother and I were in my very small kitchen, that only has enough room for two people, she came in and said that she was going to teach me how to cook, since I had apparently never been taught how. I took real offense to that - my mother had been teaching me since I was 5 years old, and Linda knew that. She just wanted to be mean. Later, at the table, she actually got up, got a second plate, and put all the "icky" food onto another plate and gave it to my dog, because "thats what it tastes like"!!!!!!!!!! What got me the most about the entire day is that she put her hand on STBXs upper thigh (way upper) during dinner, and was massaging. I was about to poke her hand with my fork. He had absolutely no problem with what she was doing - he said it was normal.

Since then, we have had a fight at least once a month, always about his mother. I truly do understand what you said about men marrying their mothers, but this was my first marraige, and I purposely left blinders on. From now on, though.............

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 2:47pm
Wow! Your STB MIL sounds like a doozy! Shades of incest here? Your STBX should go live with his mommy for the rest of his life. Don't think he would make a good husband for anyone. He is wrong - it is not normal for a mother to be massaging her grown son's upper thigh. A mature male would be very embarrassed if his mom did that to him - especially in a room full of guests. Hope you are warning all your friends so one of them doesn't try to pick him up after you are divorced. Just think: if he considers that normal, what would he do to a child of his own?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2006
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 3:05pm
Mine said that he didn't love me and never had. This was after 5 years of dating and 16 years of marriage - he sure had me fooled all those years!

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