What we loved/what we didn't love....
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What we loved/what we didn't love....
| Tue, 04-04-2006 - 2:41am |
Sometimes, I feel very angry when I think about STBX. I decided to help me move past some of my anger toward him, I would think of two things I loved about him. THEN...I would think of two things I couldn't stand! For some strange reason, doing this had kind of help balance me....weird, I know.
I loved....
1. The fact he used to carry all the heavy items we bought from Costco into the house!
2. The way he could fix any mechanical/electrical item under the sun.
I DIDN'T love...
1. The fact that he never wanted to come home.
2. His excessive overspending.
Anyone else?

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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What I loved:
1. Having someone to spend time with (can find someone else!)
2. Feeling like he always had my back (obviously he didn't though!)
What I didn't love:
1. How he felt he couldn't even tell me the smallest things so I always had to pry the truth out of him! (Even about if he ate at McDonalds for lunch or not!!)
2. How he ALWAY put his job before family and gave his job 110% which left him with nothing to give us but the cold shoulder and a headache!
Thanks for the great question. I made up a big list for myself and realized that he wasn't really a great catch after all. That's what I get for eloping over winder break from college!!!
Mine hasn't left yet (this weekend) so I'll have to say what I will miss and what I won't..
What I will miss:
1. Him snuggling the girls after their bath and giving them horsey rides. Just watching them interact with him.
2. Him taking the trash to the curb every Thursday night. (that was his ONLY ONLY household contribution)
What I won't miss:
1. watching him stumble around drunk like an idiot, and make bad jokes then laugh at himself b/c he was drunk.
2. seeing his blurred eyes and hearing his slurred words.
3. feeling ugly, stupid, unimportant, and unloveable.
4. cleaning up after him
5. having to beg him to help me with the kids, even if I was horribly sick or just needed 5 minutes to go to the bathroom in peace.
6. having promises broken day after day.
7. calling all his friends and the local hotels and hospitals looking for him at 4 in the morning.
WHEW!! I got carried away too. It made me feel better!
good thread.
I loved...
~ xh scrubbing my back in the shower... (I think it is what I miss most now...)
~ xh when he decided to cook... he'd cook up a storm.... and some of the things he'd make were amazing...
~ xh was amazingly handy... he could fix practically anything...
I didn't love...
~ xh's inability to save money (or tell me when he had used our debit card, so we wouldn't overdraw our account)...
~ xh's smoking (I thought I could get through this, but it turned into an issue)
~ xh's lack of dedication towards our son, seeing his child as something that held him back from partying, etc instead of an addition that took us both to the next level...
*hugs*
Julie
ok... this is tough... and soooo vastly uneven!!!
I loved:
his eyes
his 'geek speak' about sci-fi (can't help it, I'm a punk-rock geek lover!)
his intelligence
his faithfulness (he can't even dream about other women!)
bluntly-the sex!
I DIDN'T love:
his hiding bills from me (until I come home to no power, or woke up to his car be repoed)
his TOTAL disregard for things I was interested in
his selfishness
his inability to save money (impulsive buyer)
his lack of ambition for anything!
his forgetfulness about things that didn't revolve around him (b-days, anniversaries, etc)
his inability to be a part of my family while at the same time expecting me to do that with HIS family
always spending holidays at his family's house, never considering MY family, or me for that matter!
his inability to relate to children and the lack of desire to change that
his lying about wanting to adopt
his ingroing the pets needs
did I mention his selfishness???
his lack of respect for the house (won't cut the lawn, clean up after himself, general up keep, take out the garbage)
his inability to think for himself, always wanting me to mother him
The pity-parties he throws when things don't fall out of the sky for him and he actually has to work to get something
his guilt-trips
his manpiulation
his lack of real communication with me
his dismissal of my needs when they didn't suit him
his lack of romance (he thought fore-play was romance...)
his Denial
his refusal for marriage counceling before things got this far.
Oh, and his selfishness!
whew! That's all I have right now, I'm sure if given the time I could come up with a lot more!
tavi
Tavi...
were you married to MY husband?
;)
No, I was actually thinking she may have been married to mine ;).
Mel
I can't do just two things - LOL! We were together too many years for that :P.
Things I loved:
How smart he is
He understood the computer
He could be very funny
Things I didn't love and that I most likely hated:
Him telling me he never loved me after we'd been together 13 years
His lack of ambition
His selfishness and greed
His envy of anyone who had more money or stuff than he did
His lack of compassion
His lack of interest in the kids or me
His depression and sucidal tendancies
His porn addiction
His alcohol addiction
The way he always turned everything around and believed the world was against him.
How messy, dirty and gross he was
His lack of appreciation for the wonderful things he had in his life (great kids, a caring wife, and a lovely home)
I could go on and on...
Melanie
Not divorced yet so...
I'm going to miss....
1 - Waking up to brewed coffee every morning
2 - Play time with the babies as a family.
3- Not having to shave my legs because we never had sex. (I'll get over this one though....easily. LOL)
What I'm NOT going to miss....
- Everything else.
I know I am late, but I wanted to see how this would turn out. I am afraid I love more than I didn't.
I love...
1. Listening to him breathe and his heart beat in bed.
2. Sitting on the couch snuggling with him.
3. Helping him out with his job.
4. Watching him play ball with the boys in the front yard.
5. Talking to him about his day and activities, and watching the excitement on his face.
6. The way he smelled when he first got out of the shower.
7. The way he looks so sexy in his wranglers.
8. The way his eyes turn green when he is turned on.
9. The confidence he had in me to run the household even when I didn't.
10. The fact that he took the time to go to every OB visit when I was pregnant.
11. The way he can always make me laugh.
12. His smile.
guess I better stop.
I didn't love...
1. The fact that he would rarely call to tell me he was going to be late for supper.
2. His messy laundry.
3. His pornography habit.
4. Guess I can't come up with anymore.
I was afraid of that. :(
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda
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