What is wrong with me?
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What is wrong with me?
| Thu, 06-22-2006 - 7:36am |
I'm new to all of this and hope i am doing this correctly and am in the right place. Well let me start at the beginning. I am not divorced as of yet i have been seperated from my husband for only the past 2 1/2 weeks. I am the one who wanted all of this. I have been unhappy in the marriage for a very long time. To make a long story short about the marriage part we have been married 17 years and have 4 children. And lets just say there is more bad memories then good. We are completly different people and have always been. Well anyways back to my real problem. I moved out of the family home with my daughter who is 11 and left H there with the boys and daughter-in-law. Ages 18, 17 16 (daughter-in-law) and 15. Me and my little girl moved into my step-dads with my step-sister and her little girl. That is what both of us had decided. Well just after a week, he has found someone. A girl that is exactly like him, a biker girl (no offense to anyone) and a partier. We have gotten into several fights because he is spending so much time with this girl and not taking care of the boys like he had agreed. For instance he went away with her for the weekend last weekend and didn't tell anyone he just left the boys home alone. And these past two days, he has gotten home really late or not at all because he is with her. I'm furious with him. We had both decided that he would be there if the boys needed him, which thank goodness nothting bad has happened yet, but he hasen't. He dosen't even know what time they are getting home. We talked the other day and had came to an agrement that he would not spend the night at her house on the weekdays, and that if he wanted to go out of town or out for the night he would let the boys know where he is and about what time he would be back. But he has failed to do any of that. He was just at her house again today. Let my clarify I do not want him back, but i do want him to take responsability of the boys. Am I wrong to be so angry at him? What do i do? I am the one who has always been responsible for the kids thru our whole marriage, and just once i am asking him to be grown-up and take care of his kids. Am i being irrational, is he actually doing anything wrong? If anyone has any advice please give it to me because honestly i am at my wits end.

Hi,
Well first I would like to say how old are your boys? Next is why dont you have them. Men usually always move on first and it does hurt. One thing I learned is no matter how much we may wish they would be responsible especially in the beginning they usually are not. My ex moved on right away as well. He's went from me to the other woman he cheated with then from her straight to his 20yr old he's with now and he is 30. I had alot of learning to do with expecting him to be one way and finally accepting that he just wasnt as responsible as I felt he should be.
Pray, pray alot. Things will improve with time.