what's going on?
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what's going on?
| Thu, 11-03-2005 - 7:17am |
I don't know what is going on with my emotions..It has been 9mos..we go to court in less than 2 weeks...I filed...now I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing
The way we got into this mess was not communicating..so I called him & told him I'm not comfortable with the divorce..I said I needed to know if he was 100% sure..he paused for a long time..then said quietly yes..he said I'm still attracted to you & I miss you but that is not enough. He has even recently told me that he thinks he is in love with the "girl" he is seeing.
What's up with me!! I'm so afraid I'm making a mistake..but is it really my choice??
I have been seeing a therapist for a while & he said my stbx is making it harder by constantly sending me mixed messages..but then he said..what does he have to do to you?!!
I'm so unsure about myself..about what is going on...I don't think I could ever trust him again so what am I doing?!
The way we got into this mess was not communicating..so I called him & told him I'm not comfortable with the divorce..I said I needed to know if he was 100% sure..he paused for a long time..then said quietly yes..he said I'm still attracted to you & I miss you but that is not enough. He has even recently told me that he thinks he is in love with the "girl" he is seeing.
What's up with me!! I'm so afraid I'm making a mistake..but is it really my choice??
I have been seeing a therapist for a while & he said my stbx is making it harder by constantly sending me mixed messages..but then he said..what does he have to do to you?!!
I'm so unsure about myself..about what is going on...I don't think I could ever trust him again so what am I doing?!

Changes.... even good ones.... are difficult and emotional.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
I'm currently going through a divorce. I don't know if every attorney does this or not, but mine gave me a binder full of information, and I had to come in to the office and watch an hour long video about the process of divorce. You have to go through all the stages of grief and you'll have some of the stages again.
I haven't worked in 13 years. I do not have a college degree. My parents live 170 miles away and I am an only child. I was married 16 1/2 years, and have an 11 year old son. I am terrified of being alone, how I'll survive, etc. I'm starting to get my feistiness back and realize that I really miss my old self. While I may be terribly strapped, I would much rather sit in a dark room eating a peanut butter sandwich than be in my big house with my STBX sending my self esteem further down.
It's hard. I know. We're all going through it -- some here have been through it. I feel guilty because I'm the one that filed. From what I have been told, all of this is normal.
((HUGS))
I think doubts do creep up when we are feeling weak. You need to get back to the strong position you were in when you made the decision. Think back to why you made it in the first place. The old dreams of "what could have been" are creeping up because you still have hope. Hope can be bad sometimes too. It lulls us into thinking as long as we have it things will change. But hope is just an emotion, not an action.
You have to remember the emotions and decisions that led you to this path. The reason's why you are in this spot now. Remember, divorce is a trying emotional roller coaster, and it can weaken you. Once you feel stronger you'll realize you are making the right decision. Be confident in it, own it and be proud you had the courage to go for something better in life, something you really deserve.
You don't deserve his doubt, or his wishy-washy ways. You want him to scream from the top of the mountains, I love you and need you. Men will do this when they really love you and are sure. That's the type of man you want in your life, one with conviction and no doubts.
We're here for you. We have been/are going through this too. Its perfectly normal and remember you can and will get through this time.
(((HUGS)))
....and peace to your heart
When you have been out of the boiling water for nine months... you start to forget how awful it was in that hot pot.
"I would much rather sit in a dark room eating a peanut butter sandwich than be in my big house with my STBX sending my self esteem further down."
Hooray for peanut butter and doing the happy dance in a tiny, empty apartment! Freedom!!
anyway..thank you for your reply & you are right..I do want someone to shout it from the rooftop...I guess my fear is that what if there is no one else?? what if that is all there is?
I still have to get to the place where I am comfortable by myself..I think that will take a while..I have exhausted by friends by rehashing this so I'm spending a lot of time alone..I don't like it too much - right now..