What's Next......

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
What's Next......
4
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 4:33pm

First time on here...

I'm 23. I was divorced in June, but we broke up in November after my former 'best friend' came out of the woodwork, embedded herself into our lives, made up lies about me and basically stole my life from under me....

They are together now, I think she lives with him, I'm not sure...but he doesn't see or care that she had a major role in breaking us up.

Anyway, I have moved on with my life. I have my own place now and a great job and I am in grad school. And I got to keep the dog. :) But I just hate knowing that they are together and happy, and I hate that he just doesn't see how this is messed up!

I don't know how to 'let it go' or whatever. I never even got any closure. He would barely speak to me after he left because she wouldn't let him.

Any advice?? And please don't be too harsh, I know I sound like an idiot. I know I shouldn't sit here ruminating about everything and wondering why he doesn't care but I do. People always tell me he got over me so I should get over him, I just don't know how to.

Although I've moved on, I am not over this....I'm a mess....what do I do next??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 4:47pm
Since you have only been div for 2 mos, it's really not that much time, but if more time goes by and you still can't get over it, you should probably see a counsellor, so you don't let this ruin your life.
Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 7:41pm

I just hate people that say things like, "he got over you, so you need to get over him"........Like you can just turn off your emotions whenever you want.


I agree with Musiclover........sometimes a therapist can help you see things you do see, or don't realize.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
Wed, 08-13-2008 - 9:24pm

Thanks for your messages, I appreciate it. :)

I've been trying to see a therapist but I'm having health insurance issues...what a pain. Hopefully I'll get to soon.

I do have family and friends but my husband and I relocated about an hour and a half from them a few years ago. Anyway, I never really made any friends here and when we split, I decided to stay here for my job. Long story short, I have support but during the week I come home from work and sort of ruminate and obsess over this stuff. Ugh I need a life.

Thanks again though. I'll try that letter idea...I tried once before, but I felt so foolish writing a letter that wouldn't be read...

- Elyse

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-14-2008 - 12:44am

I journaled... a LOT.... and I read.... a LOT!


Iyanla Vanzant.... that's the author.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~