When do you stop wanting to go back
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When do you stop wanting to go back
| Thu, 03-22-2007 - 11:26pm |
I am so torn. I know that my marriage is over but sometimes I want my stbx back so much. A little background on my situation, I have been married almost 13 years, I have 3 beautiful children. I am in the process of getting a divorce and selling our house. I never wanted this divorce but we have both done some things that we cant take back. So I have accepted that we are not good for each other and we will be better parents apart.
So what I want to know is when will I not want him back. I know deep down that I cant go back their has been so much bad between us. I will love him forever but when will my heart begin to heal.

Dear Shop.
I understand your situation. It sounds as if you have not totally made your mind up yet. i have worked with many couples in you situation and have had many go back after all the bad. Saying never is a big thing. Question does he still want you back or has he come to the same conclusion as you. Marriage and the problems that go along with it is a partnership between two people. one piece of advice keep all outside judges or players out of your decision process.These people no matter how much they care for you as a friend or a relative can sometimes cloud the issues and make it harder on you. If you make a decision to stay or go based on what others might think or how they may act toward you. you may make a decision that you may regret later and not be able to go back on. good luck! and keep posting you have friends here that understand and can help.
Mender
Everytime I think I have made my mind up I start to doubt myself. He does want to try again but I am not sure I want to. Everytime I think I am ready to file and move on then I get sentimental and miss him. We did have good times and 3 beautiful children together but how do I move past all the hurt?
Thank you so much for your advice
Shop,
You sound really confused and understand you have right to be. Hurt will fade in time sometimes people say and do things out of anger,revenge,or even meanness. but remember that forgivness is alway an option. have you sought counseling together? if you have any doubt. i don't know your status if you are on talking terms i hope for the childerns sake you talk to him and maybe a recociliation can be made. You said you have been with him thirteen years thats a long time. so i am sure that the time is also a factor in your decision making. i must advise that if a reconciliation is a factor that you both agree on terms of the process for your and you childrens relationship health. do not be unreasonable as this could hinder the process if you find at points where you or he is starting to be unreasonable stop the process and work through that part first and then continue. that way both of you find a common goal and achieve it together. good luck in your journey.
Mender
Hugs, Brenda
Hugs, Brenda