When does the anger leave?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
When does the anger leave?
1
Fri, 09-29-2006 - 10:28pm
Hello sort of newbie here. Synopsis Kicked soon to x out in Nov. after he got abusive was going to kick him out befoe but because of surgery and not having a car and he got our house repossed I was stuck for a while . I was married 21 years. I finally filed for divorce and he was served about 3 weeks ago .I di'nt have the money until now and I am barley surviving. This week I found out he has been seeing another woman the past two years of our marriage . My mil died and I went with ds to the viewing and because he asked me the family asked me to leave. My ds left with me and cried for about 3 hours he is older but none the less. I am taking him to a counsleor this week but here is my question when does the anger go away?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sat, 09-30-2006 - 8:14am

HUGS to you. It sounds like you have been treated very, VERY poorly by your ex and his family. But letting go of the anger is a process, and can be longer for some than others. You're still in the heat of divorcing, so feeling anger is normal. Divorce is a loss, and we experience the same feelings of grief as we do in other losses. I haven't done this in a while, but I'll post the five stages of grief:



  1. Denial and isolation - The "No, not me" stage.
  2. Anger - The "Why me?" stage.
  3. Bargaining - The "If I do this, you’ll do that" stage.
  4. Depression - The "It's really happened" stage.
  5. Acceptance - The "This is going to happen" stage

We don't always pass through these stages in order, sometimes we get stuck at a certain stage, and other times, we move backward. Also, don't compare your grief process to someone else's. We all move along at different rates for a variety of reasons. However, if you feel you're having trouble coping, seek out counseling.