When the kids are gone....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
When the kids are gone....
25
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 6:38pm

I sometimes get into a funk when my son is with his dad.

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown


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Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-25-2006 - 6:47pm

Hey Lexi...

I really don't have time when Joey's away... his dad saw him once last year (in October) and just saw him in March... but it was while I was away on business... but I did want to give you an idea about meals for one... there is a cookbook, called My Apartment Has a Kitchen.... some of it is rather basic, but all of the meals in there are geared towards smaller numbers, typically one or two... may be something for you to check out...

*hugs*

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 7:45am

I have a really unusual work schedule - three 12-hour shifts - all day Saturday, all day Sunday, and overnights on Mondays (plus any overtime I can wrangle!). Generally, DS is with his dad while I am working, so that provides a good distraction for me. However, the times he is not home and I am not working, I tend to run around like a maniac getting things done - shopping, cleaning, going to the gym, visiting people etc. I know that I need to start having more down time when he's not here. But even after almost eight months, it's still a big adjustment not being with him seven days a week. Like you, I just try to keep myself busy most of the time.


As for cooking, the nights DS isn't here, I make things I like! I usually make a quick trip to Trader Joe's (I don't think they're in every area of the country) and I usually pick up some more "exotic" things to make - vegetable potstickers, edamame, Indian dishes, etc.


I try to enjoy the time I have to myself, but it still stings a bit when it's time for him to go with his dad.

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 9:02am

I'm still adjusting to not having the kids 24/7 and I almost always get into a funk when I don't have the kids (even though I like the break). I go to the movies and read a good book and cook incredible gourmet meals that I know my kids would call "Yuck!". I hope to travel a little, also, once I'm back on my feet fincially. I also do the kind of shopping my kids hate (Target/TJ Maxx/Marshalls/COSTCO...). I still am in transition, so I don't have anybody to do these things with (my former friends are always with their kids, and I only have 1 divorced friend whose kid weekends are opposite mine)so it's a little lonely, but I have the freedom to do what I want when I want and I like that. But I still miss the kids terribly.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 11:31am

cooking for one: tell me what you like to eat and i will teach you a few tricks!


chicken/turkey: i buy fresh chickens/turkey parts, clean them (I live in israel and they come with little feathers and lots of hairs...ick), then I take cooking bags (or regular freezer bags but the cooking bags save you a bag later on), put the parts in the bag (enuf chickn for one or two meals) add some marinade (whatever you like ) and freeze the bags. the day before you want to make them, you put the bag in the fridge to defrost, and then you bake them in the oven (that's where the baggie comes in handy) with a sweet potato, rice, squash, etc.


meatballs or meatloaf: make one meat loaf or one batch of meatballs, then divide into one-portion containers.


soup: i make a lot of lentil soup or split pea soup - it freezes BEAUTIFULLY.


i've got tons of other ideas -let me know what you like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Sun, 03-26-2006 - 2:07pm
I too get a little down when my boys are gone, but I am adjusting. I actually find I miss my time alone when it's been 10 days or so with just me and the boys. If ex has a meeting or something I always take them. He has one M-Th this week so I will have them all of those days. Also it's not like I ever really go without them. I see them nearly everyday even when it isn't my week. I clean when they are gone. I sit here at the computer. I listen to music really loud. I sit and do nothing sometimes, it's good not to be needed 24/7.
What's wrong with cereal for supper? I do it all the time on my off week. I also fix things when the boys are here that leave left overs for me the next week. One of my favorites is a can of tuna mixed up into salad, eaten with crackers.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 7:29am

Hey Lexi..... great question!


I, too, find myself lounging in bed half the day (if I don't have "plans"), then end up feeling like poo because I did, even though it felt great while I was not in the mood to get out of the bed :-)


I also try to get all of my funky stuff done while the kids are gone (wash sheets, vacuum, dust, grocery shopping, etc.)... and I definitely feel lots better when I have things planned with friends and have that extra motivation to get going!


When my kids are gone, sometimes I'll eat out... "bellying up" to


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 8:11am

You and Brenda bring up good points....I also look forward to time without DS now. Even though I do feel a little sad when he goes with his dad, I do appreciate the alone and/or adult time that I get to have without him.


For example, his dad is on vacation in Miami from Thursday night, and he will be returning Wednesday morning. Now, I work from 8am-8pm Saturday AND Sunday. Usually, DS is with his dad, but obviously, not this weekend. It was very hard being cooped up in the house with him for two days straight! He did have some distractions (played in the neighborhood for a while, friend took him out to lunch, etc), but still, I am SURE I could use a break by Wednesday!


I definitely feel that having breaks from DS makes me a better mom. It's funny, because except for work, I rarely ever had a break from parenting all the years I was married.

What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 8:17am
LOL... I didn't have a parenting break while I was married either! (unless the kids were with my mom).

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 9:21pm

Thank you for all of your replies!


momtojoeybear

Hugs~ Lexi

"Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars" ~ Les Brown


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 12:03pm

i can share my recipes - but i must warn you that (a) *my* recipes are 'a little of this and a little bit of that'. i basically read recipes just to see what works with what, and then i play around with them, (b) i live in israel, in fact although i was born in the US i grew up here, so my cooking is more mediterranean/middle eastern/spicy and (c) i keep kosher at home so my recipes are kosher....


anyway, here is how i make meat loaf:


about 2 pounds of chopped meat (i use half beef and half chicken - you can mix and match however you like)


add


2 eggs


1-2 grated onions


1-2 smashed garlic cloves


1/2 hot pepper, seeded and chopped (optional)


grated carrot


chopped celery


handful of pine nuts or slivered almonds (optional but they add a nice texture)


few squeezes of ketchup (lately i have started using pomegranate syrup which is sweet and sour and delish)


bread crumbs, salt, black pepper


mix it all together, shape into loaf. pour some ketchup over the top, cover with tin foil and bake for an hour, take off tin foil for the last 15 minutes to brown. (i mix

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