when to start dating again

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
when to start dating again
4
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 2:35pm
Hi,
I've just started the divorce process and my STBX is already lining up dates. I'm just wondering the pros and cons of dating again so soon. (not that anyone is asking me). He seems to think a rebound relationship will help him deal with things, and frankly it's kind of hard just sitting around on the weekends while he is out dating. I'm not that eager to date right now but figure, heck, if it works for him...
Any advice?
Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
Tue, 08-22-2006 - 3:50pm
I'm not as far as you in the process, but it seems that if you are not eager to start dating, then don't. You don't have to do it just because he is. Perhaps he also just thinks that he "should". Doing it when you're ready seems to make more sense to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 9:11pm

There are lots of other activities that you can get involved with (classes, groups/clubs, hobbies) besides to "date".... which I wouldn't do until you feel like you're good and ready.


You can always use the weekend time to clean out a closet, paint a room, read a book, or have lunch/dinner with a girlfriend


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

Avatar for jerbear18
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 9:25pm

As a divorced single parent I can tell you there is alot out there that tells you not to date for at least a year. This is called the One Year Rule. I broke the rule many years ago many times and did some dating for a number of years before deciding to get my head on straight. the not dating is called being in the "convent", I'm currently the Mother Superior.

I post on another board called Dating as A Single Parent(DASP). Here's the link.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psdatesingle

There is alot of wonderful people with lots of BTDT T-Shirts and we are always willing to let you borrow them. When and if you visit remember to take what you can use and leave the rest. There are a lot of people still trying to figure things out for themselves, so some times they come across harsh.

Jer- you seem to have the general idea that you need to be comfortable before you date and I wish you much luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 9:59pm
You date when you're ready. Hint-if you're dating because he's dating, you're not ready. He's not dealing with things, making himself better, and/or healing, he's covering the pain with fun dating. Don't go there.