When to tell the kids
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| Fri, 01-05-2007 - 7:21pm |
My STBX & I filed the divorce papers 3 months ago. There will be no reconciliation (my choice not that it matters). We split the recent holidays - him Thanksgiving and Christmas, me Christmas Eve and New Years. However, we are still living in the same house. I'm not sure when he will get out because of the legal wrangling. The kids (ages 6, 9, 11) haven't been told yet but I believe suspect something is up (mommy & daddy haven't slept together for 6 months). Also, in attempt to give my STBX alone time with the kids because he works long hours, I absent myself from the home every Sunday (yup we lie to the kids about where I go).
I'm ready to tell the children. He wants to wait until about a week or two before he moves out.
What does everyone think?

Thanks for the support Bam.
That was my instinct too. I'm just allowing myself to be bullied and this is one time I have to be strong.
My only concern is that you don't know when he's moving out. The kids will be in constant torture wondering when that day will come. I think that they will be in agony. So, not that I agree that you should wait, but you and your STBX need to figure out when he's leaving and then tell them together. I do think that those 2 events should happen closely together though.
Good luck and I understand that not all of this is in your control... Let us know how it goes.
S