when will the hurt go away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2012
when will the hurt go away?
2
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 8:13pm

Hello,

My wife left me after 2 years. The day of my grandma's prayer service. She had been really distant for about the last 6 months and i had asked her the question before: Are you cheating on me and do you love me? The signs were all there, but she told me i was silly and she loved me more than life itself. On the day she left i found condoms and a nightie in her closet. I approached her before the prayer service and straight out asked her. Have you been cheating? She said yes and she wanted to wait until after the funeral. I said i forgive her, asked if she would like to work it out. she said no i asked her if this was it she said yes. She left to live with her boyfriend. We are getting a divorce, but the its the one thing in the world i don't want. I want to fight for her and she won't let me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 9:15pm

Please don't take offense to this but you are saying what we usually hear from women, although since this is a board primarily for women, maybe that's why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 10:54pm
Sorry your hurting but you really can't fight for someone who doesn't want to be with you. I would not take to heart what she said about you "being selfish and drove her to this" This is just an excuse on her part to justify her behavior and an excuse to leave. It doesn't sound like you were selfish at all if you stood by her during her drug problems and were driving her 4 hours to her treatments, not to mention standing by her when she was in jail. You would be foolish to quit your job and run after her when she has made it clear that she doesn't want to be with you. She would no doubt reject you and then on top of that you'd be out of a job. Listen to your friends cause they are trying to protect you from further hurt. Really the best thing you could do for yourself right now is to go get some counseling. GOOD LUCK.