When your left processing it all and your ex is having the time of his life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2011
When your left processing it all and your ex is having the time of his life.
4
Sun, 07-31-2011 - 7:34am

I was told earlier this July by my son's dad that he doesnt love me and doesnt want to live with me anymore that we can stay in the same house for 6months to a year and save money each to put aside for our own place. I was devistated. I saw he had been online setting up dating profiles, had suddenly had new friends I had never met. We live somewhere for his job where I have no friends or family and travel to work nights as a nurse 45 miles away. He is a cop locally and works alternating nights. So only one saturday every other week would we be home at night together as was our schedule always for the past 3 years. We have two sons one 3 year old and I had a five year old when we got together who is now 11. I felt one day he took his frustration out on my 11 year old while cutting the lawn I saw my 11 year old crying, there was a heat wave that day in florida and I heard him tell my 11 year old that he was too lazy,and since he cant push the lawn mower without crying he needs to run 10 laps around the house. I went outside gave my child ice water and a wet towel to wrap around his head. He came out of the shower dizzy and his heart rate was racing arrythmia, my knowledge as a nurse was immediatley dismissed by my ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Of course this is all devastating to you now--it's a big shock and something you didn't want or expect.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Peace,

I need clarification on a couple of things.

First, you have one son with this man or two?

Secondly, how long have you lived together?

Once I have those pieces I can answer you better. Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011

Peace,

I know your pain!

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
That kind of disciplinary tactics to a 11 year old borders on child abuse. I know this does not feel like it but I think you are better off without him. I am struggling with a (almost) 15 year old who had to deal with authoritative dad. Kids develop low self esteem, odd, and get anti-social. If you are not married, you still could be entitled to fair share since you have been living together for a while. I would honestly look forward..and your son will thank you for it when he gets older..Do not give him full custody or anything. Try to get primary and watch for any more signs of severe punishments..good luck. I know how you feel in terms of sadness. I also feel if my stbx had shown remorse or even accepted some responsibility, I would have given in. Please continue to look foward..I also feel too 'tired'..not hurt..but just tired..in my case, i am now struggling with teen defiance and anger at all this. So do it while your kids are still young. Good luck