Where on EARTH is this coming from????

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Where on EARTH is this coming from????
1
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 11:33pm

To make a potentially long story short, I found out this evening that my STBX had not shown up to get the boys from daycare. No one could reach him either. Finally, his mom was able to get a hold of him. He was still in the town that his gf lives in (4-5 hours away). However, he and his gf had broken up and he was stranded there with no way to get home. She goes to school in this town and had driven him to spend x-mas with her family (not with his OWN kids, which is why this is so confusing) in her hometown. So, she was refusing to drive him home. Fortunatly, his older brother, a very responsible man with a family, was able to go and get him and bring him home.


Here's where I'm confused. I always thought that if/when they broke up that I would be, well, not happy, but vindicated I guess. However, I'm absolutely heartbroken for him. I have no intention of trying to put our marriage back together, especially after this mess, it'd be the worst thing that could happen. I just don't understand why I feel so sad for him. It doesn't make sense! He walked out on his pregnant wife and two other children for this girl. Am I just nuts???!!! LOL Help me understand what is going on in this crazy, mixed up head of mine! I cannot get in to see my therapist until next week!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 3:52pm

Of course you're confused, with mixed up emotions, happy and sad at the same time. Of course, you're upset--you loved the man once. I think your emotional state is totally expected--you've been apart from him for only a short time now. Would you have divorced your H if not for the affair? I remember how very hurt I was when my ex remarried, even though I didn't want him and even though I full expected he would remarry just as soon as he could. If I put myself in your shoes, I imagine I would feel vengeance, worry, anger, confusion, etc. as well as maybe wonder if the marriage might be repairable...

I'm pretty sure that time--for the emotions to settle down--will help. Definitely see your therapist and I don't recommend talking to your ex. Keep your loving support group very close around you for a while.

I hope you were able to go get your boys from daycare without them being too upset. I hope this situation doesn't upset your possession schedule either.

A little bit of Karma, I guess...

Good luck and Happy New Year!!
Cupcake