Where to go from here?
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Where to go from here?
| Fri, 05-12-2006 - 10:36pm |
I was told the other day by my husband that he filed for divorce. Now I did know this was coming. I just fear how he is going to be after it is over. He says he will do anything I want in regards to the kids and when and where he sees them. But then the next words that come out of his mouth is that he will not come see the kids anymore if I will not give him my SS#. I did not give him my number but it is so hard not to give in to him but he always uses the kids to get back at me. I did talk to a lawyer today and I will be seeing her next week.
Mama to 5

When I was newly separated from my husband (this was in 1987), I had all my self esteem tied up in him.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
And your kids will thank you for it.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
susan is so right. its very hard to stand up to someone who is manipulating and/or abusing you. this is probably after months/years of the same behavior. i know - i went thru this with my ex. he was abusive and extremely controlling and manipulative. you have no idea how empowering it was to me to just walk out on him when he was away one day. and it wasn't just leaving him - i have changed my entire life, i am a new person.
but ---- i couldn't have done this on my own, it took therapy and wonderful friends to help. of course - the main work comes from yourself, but you need the support.
good luck
sk1960 is SO right......being in an unhappy, controlling marriage really erodes your self esteem. First...go easy on yourself! You just found out you're getting a divorce. It takes some time to find the courage and strength to accomplish everything you need to do. Move slowly....give yourself credit for the things you do - ie - going tp see your lawyer.
Also, I have seen it time and time again. STBXs/EXs LOVE to use threats of poverty and "taking the children away" as ways of frightening their ex spouses into agreeing to anything. This is my motto - There's the worst case scenario, and the best case scenario. The outcome is usually somewhere in between. So all of the scary thoughts you might have about losing your children, becoming impoverished, are most likely NOT going to happen.
You are right at the beginning of this journey...hang in there. We're here for the ride with you!
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank