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| Sun, 05-01-2005 - 2:16pm |
Hi,
I am new here, and can't believe I am here actually. My husband and I are having problems due to his former drinking and his dry drunk behavior now. Nothing violent, but a lot of emotional abuse. So I have decided to start planning for filing. I am not positive I will do it anytime soon, but I want to get a support system for myself and a handle on what all of our finances entail before I approach a lawyer. I have a three year old daughter, which makes this even more sad, and I have been married almost 11 years. His family is my family basically so I know once we separate I will be on my own big time.
So we have a lot of investments which I plan to get account numbers for, plus we have seperate bank accounts although I have access to his checking account and our money market. He is basically treating me badly so I will look like the bad guy and file. He plans to buy a lake home as an investment in the next month or so, and I know that will be a mess. I am not sure I want to file really soon, but who knows at this point.
What information should I make sure I have before I see a lawyer? I don't want him trying to hide anything, as I suspect he might.
Also, has anyone found a support group with real people to attend when going through this? I don't even know if they exist. I just know I will need some help....my Mom passed away five years ago, and my Dad lives far away and is pretty into his new life. My sister lives close by which is nice, but that is all the family I have access to.
Also does anyone know if they can get medical care in a settlement? I don't have it in my current teaching position and I want to stay there another year to get tenure before getting another job that pays better.
I think I could get a good settlement to take me through the first year, but it seems so scary after that.
Any help is appreciated,
LM

HI! I love your pseudo... so cute.
I am no lawyer - and most of your questions call for legal expertise. Bear in mind that divorce law details change a lot from state to state, and what is usual in one state may not be in another.
Go to the local barnes & Nobles or other large bookstore, and find the relationship aisle. There are dozens of relevant books (I remember "Divorce for Dummies" from my own searches...), and they all refer to dozens of sites. Then go to the library, and look these up! not on your home computer, never on your home computer. Please remember to clear the cache, the history of visited places, the cookies (where he could find the pseudo you are using, and figure out your intentions prematurely).
As an alternative, invest a little money in a lawyer visit NOW. He/she will be happy to let you know what to look for, what is usual in your state, and how to best protect yourself.