Who didn't I call today!!!!
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| Thu, 06-16-2005 - 6:20pm |
STBX has his weekly parenting times M & Th from 5 p.m. to 8:30p.m. Normally I have to tell the babysitter that I won't go work at my other job just in case he doesn't come (which has happened a couple of times). So today he goes and picks up our daughter from the babysitter before 2:30 p.m. Ok most of you might be saying "cool at least she has a father that wants to see their daughter" well no. I know our daughter loves her dad and he is God right now to her but if my babysitter wouldn't have called me I would of assumed that he came to get her at his late old time that he normally does. I called my Friend of the Court office and of course you just get the old voicemail and that they have 48hr to reply which would be MAYBE if I was lucky by next Tuesday. Called the state police and asked them and he said you have to go through the Friend of the Court. Then I called my lawyer and his assistant told me "It is only a problem if you MAKE it a problem." WTF?!!! I am not the one making it a problem when he fails to contact me to get her earlier - what if we had something planned after that 2:30 but before he was to pick her up by 5? I mean this is why we have parenting time papers BECAUSE WE CAN'T GET ALONG but he has picked up our daughter before earlier and I have let him and he was the one that said if I pick her up earlier then I will bring her home earlier. I have agreed. Our papers do NOT say non-custodial parent can get child every M and TH whenever he pleases and keep her for however long and he doesnt have to call you for crap. I am in Michigan and right now we have been having severe weather warnings and some tornado watches. You mean to tell me that it is ok for him to go get her without notifying me and for me to assume that she is ok where I think she is at and after all find out oh she isn't here she left. Yes my babysitter could tell him NO but why should I have to put her in the middle? We can't get along for anything hence these visitation papers. He violates every order. No 3rd party of non-relative of the opposite sex around our daughter until we are divorced and nope he does that all the time. Told the Friend of the Court and fill out this form then when we receive this form you need to complete this form and then we will start the investigation into the alleged violation of the order. By the time they get to it we will be divorced. Common courtesy - he gets her every other weekend and brings her home at 6 p.m. on Sunday what if I went over to his place whereever he is at (who knows he doesnt have a home bounces from sister to sister) and picked up my daughter at 2 p.m. without calling first? I don't think he would be willing to let me have her? Am I angry - yes. I lost all faith in this system. Will it only benefit my daughter to spend more time with her worthless dad -of course BUT why can't he call first? I mean what am I going to say NO even though it is your day you can't have her. Hell no I am so scared of defying a court order that I can't believe even my own lawyer's office is saying "only if you make it a big deal!!!" Somebody anyone -- tell me am just being bitchy? I mean what he can just go pick her up from school without calling me first and that is ok on his said parenting days?
I have followed the rules, I wasn't the one who had an affair that produced a child with our dd in the same bed!!! I am not the one that has my DD sleep on the floor because I have no bed for her because I have no home for my child. I am not the one that doesn't provide clothing or shoes for her so when shoes and clothing are sent for her to wear during his overnight visitation HE NEVER SENDS THEM BACK. Sends her home without shoes because "I can't find one of them."
I am not the one that says "those parenting time/custody papers don't mean s**t" but damn it I better follow them when it comes to his favor!!!
As the custodial parent I dont' have a right to know when my child is picked up earlier than expected. That would be great if every M & TH I could count on him coming early or on time to pick up our daughter so I could go work and make some money because he doesnt pay his child support. Behind $1136.08 to pay $501/mo. But can afford all new clothes and shoes for himself and brand new truck and nice new cell phone. Which I did call him on and got his voicemail and he never called me back!!!
God give me strength.

Well, we have guidelines in place to use to we just can't get along and butt heads about everything... but fortunately.... that hasn't been a big deal.
Generally, on "his days", I just don't plan anything for them... and... if I need to, I tell him about it so that he knows that something is happening, like if DS had to schedule an orthodontist appointment on "his day", then, he can plan his time to get them.
I always try to think... more is better... so if he can get them early or keep them later (without disrupting their schedule for sleep or school too much)... I try to accommodate AND think of it as more time for me!
In a perfect world.... he would think to call you... but since, obviously, he doesn't see the need to do that... you should just work to keep him informed if you have a plan at that time.
If he is trying to push your buttons, he'll keep trying... and you've got a choice as to whether you let it.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~