Who here has shared custody?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2005
Who here has shared custody?
23
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 1:59pm
Does anyone have 50/50 shared custody and how is it working out for the child? What difficulties or benefits have you run into?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 9:36pm

I know the IRS has a site that addresses this, and I forget if you can use paying for normal expenses or if it's just child support and the % of time. If you have the child 51% of the time that counts. We have 50/50, but the last two years I have ended up with a couple extra days and I'm keeping my calander in case I am ever challenged on that. The worst case I can imagine is that we could agree to take turns claiming head of household, by agreeing to tell the IRS we alternately have 51% custody. But I'm hoping I can claim it each year.

It's so nice to hear from another mom that does what we do and makes it work. My ex is what you describe, a good dad for the most part. He does some things I don't agree with, but he loves our dd and that is what matters most. She is so lucky that he could take his parenting responsibility seriously by being there, even if he doesn't always take bedtimes and limiting candy as seriously as I do :) When you take everything into consideration, the 50/50 thing has worked out really well for all three of us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 10:51am
I have recently been given a good book on shared custody called:
"Mom's House, Dad's House" by Isolina Ricci Ph.D.
I am only about half way through it, but it seems to have some good advice.
I hope this helps. I am just getting started on a shared custody arrangement, 1 week on and 1 week off. It's not as good as full custody, but it's a lot better than twice a month. So far my children are adjusting well. It will be better once we have enough clothes and things that they don't have to haul their things around.
Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 11:17am
We have a hard time not having clothes and shoes go back and forth. It's expensive to have a child have two wardrobes, but sometimes in the summer we end up with enough through handmedowns and inexpensive summer dresses. We have eliminated most of the toys that go back and forth (just a few barbies or the one favorite toy of the week) and we do limit dd to one duffle bag. As soon as she gets to my house I take the shoes and put them away, and I keep an empty drawer in her dresser so I can just plop the clothes in it and she's 'unpacked'.

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